Episode 2 The Adventures of the Assblasteroids: Anthon Meets the Assblasteroids.

We are the Assblasteroids and we are the most power beings in the world. There is nothing that can stop us our gas is stinky beyond all comparison and all that is righteous and true.

Anthon: What are you two doing here? Tell me now!

Sphincter: This is a free country, and you can’t stop us. There is nothing that can stop us from going away.

Anus: No, you can’t stop us. We are the most power beings in the world. We bring you gas for your ass, and a little surprise for your pants something that you can take home with you.

Anthon: Are you two insane? Are you mad? I don’t care who you are get out of here. You are not welcome here. I don’t want gas, I avoid it because I am better than everyone else because of my status and social power.

Sphincter: Oh, we are welcome here more that you know it, and yes you are going to have gas coming from your ass. You are a silly human always running from the gas that you have in your ass.

Anthon: Look. I don’t want trouble. I don’t want to lose another pair of five hundred dollar underwear and blow a flame from my ass like I did in my SUV.

Sphincter: Well, I am sorry you are going to lose your underwear. Your wife Ashlee will not be able to get the stains out, so you will have to throw them away.

Anus: Yes, you will have to throw them away. he,he,he,he!!

Anthon: How much money do you want? I am loaded, and I will pay you to not give me gas.

Sphincter: Silly human money has no value in our world. We exist to fart and fart to exist. There is no other reason. Do you understand?

Anthon: What is there to understand? You fart and that is your thing.

Sphincter: But, don’t you see farting is emotional it is a state of love.

Anus: It is something that you and your kind despise. You don’t admit that gas comes from from your ass you Rich Freak you.

Anthon: Is this what this is all about? The gas in my ass that I complain about all the time.

Anus: Just let yourself go Anthon and blow freely from your tight ass. I know the fish eggs give you gas and the water chestnuts make you fart and your wife gag. It is all a natural thing Anthon.

Anthon: You leave right now. I don’t want you here.

Ashlee: Who are you talking to Anthon?

Anthon: No one honey. I am talking to no one.

Ashlee: I thought I heard you talking to someone?

Sphincter: He was talking to the Assblasteroids. I am sphincter and this is Anus, we are discussing his up and coming gas expulsion.

Anus: Hi!!

Ashlee: You can’t give him gas! I have to sleep with him tonight.

Anus: He is going to have gas in a really big way.

Sphincter: It is too late, Ashlee. His butt will soon be at critical mass. He will release a fart of great magnitude and there is no stopping it. It will bring tears to his eyes, and make him feel the love and smell the pleasure.

Ashlee: I will get the Gas Be Gone Anthon. That will show the Assblasteroids.

Anus: I am sorry Ashlee it is going to take more than Gas Be Gone. Gas Be Gone is for amateurs.

Sphincter: I think Anthon is an experienced fart master that has mastered his craft of blowing ass burners incognito.

Anthon: That is not true. I am not a fart master. I feel the pressure burning down below. I feel a huge fart coming on.

Sphincter: Let it go Anthon. Let it go. You ate food of gaseous proportion and now the world will know your farts.

Ashlee: No!! Anthon!

Anthon: pooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…ooooooooooooooooo…o.o.o.o.ooooooooooooo! Damn! pooooooooooo…oooo…oooo…ooo! I have holes in my underwear and there is a damn big burn hole in them too.

Sphincter: Yes, you are now one with your farts. Goodbye Anthon.

Anus: Our job is done here. Goodbye Anthon. Goodbye.

Ashlee: Anthon get in here you should be ashamed of yourself. You ruined a five-hundred dollar pare a underwear and you aren’t getting any tonight.

Anthon: I know, I am going to have my ass closed. Damn Assblasteroids. They are going to pay.

Assblasteroids: No we aren’t.

The End.

“The Self-Righteous” are the most fake of all…

Note: This is not about anyone in particular this is just a story.

There once was man who thought he was the most purest one of all. He stood in front of millions pushing his fire and brimstone beliefs on all those who would listen. He made those in his audience cry and fear that somehow they needed him for their spiritual destiny. They gave him their money in exchange for threats that he called misfortunes in their “lives”. Hey, to them he could do no wrong. The walls of his building were made of glass and the floors were made of gold. He sank millions into his building, and had weekly broadcasts from it.

He would make thousands of dollars on Sunday and he claimed that the money went to “good causes”. Well, the money went to “his causes”. He got his wife a face job and Botox, because his love for her was fading, and he wanted someone that looked twenty-five. He made investments in precious medals over seas. He bought a house in Malibu in some Rich Freak community. He bought his son a new car, and a new house for his twenty first birthday all his Rich Freak Friends were there. Hey, none of his poor church members were there even-though they keep him in his rich freak lifestyle.

He only spent his money on material things, and not things that could help improve the lives of people , even-though he claimed to be a man of spiritual proportion. Because, you see he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and never knew what it was like to be poor. He taught his son to believe that he was better than other people, and his son kept the family philosophy going– “Exploit and Dominate”. Do you think his son would socialize with the poor people of his fathers congregation? No, he went to a private school, the best money could buy with other Rich Freaks.

Hey, he didn’t care if the people were poor in his audience as long as they gave every Sunday to his cause. To come to a place of worship is one thing, but being forced to “psychologically” give to an organization that uses it’s money for it’s own gain is a tragedy.

He loved to brainwash and control thousands every week with his interpretation of religion. His sickness spread many of his audience members they too started teaching their family his philosophy his “interruption of Religion”. He loved knowing that his church members were staying on the narrow side of his teachings.

There were spots on his program that claimed that if people gave to his organization, their lives would turn around and they would all gain fortunes. He loved to target people that were down on their luck because they were looking for a better life and had nothing to loose. Here is what happened he got richer, and the people that gave got poorer. This is a sick equation.

Well, he got caught doing something that he shouldn’t have. He got caught with his pants down in a room full of “sin”. He cried to his congregation claiming that he didn’t do it a dark force made him do it. Then his people saw him as human and not as some “supreme being” that he lead his congregation to believe that he was, and he got what was coming to him.

You see people like this believe that they are above others. They get a huge power trip, and that is why they fall so hard when they get caught with both hands in the cookie jar.

He hid behind religion as an outlet to make money. He never really saw the true meaning of religion. You see religion doesn’t have to include money and greed it is something that is kept inside in the mind, and that my friend is free. Here is my advice if something doesn’t seem right it probably isn’t. If you give to man such as I described above make sure you know where the money is going. Remember your life is yours and no one can tell you how to think of believe.

The End.

You mind is yours don’t let others control and manipulate it. Grus.

Episode 2 The Rich Freaks: Anthon talks Ashlee into a boob Job and she accepts.

Anthon: I am so glad that we got to spent time at the Smith’s. They are the biggest snobs that we know. They are even bigger snobs then us. I only wish that we were as snobby as them. It brings tears to my eyes knowing that they are our friends and that they have so much money and live life by the laws of capitalism. I bare my testimony to you I know that their farts don’t stink, and they are the purest rich freaks of all.

Ashlee: Oh, Anthon I love it when you confess your love for capitalism, and you show me your love for snobs. If only Muffy had stayed, he could have been the ultimate Rich Freak dog.

Anthon: Yes, well I guess he ran off to a middle class family. I am sure he is eating bargain brand dog food, and watching cheap television and wearing a worthless five dollar collar. I hope he is happy.

Ashlee: Yes, well I am going to take a shower and then I am going to go to the gym. I have to get rid of all this that weight I gained on the trip. I might barf and scarf just for you Anthon.

Anthon: Yes, well don’t forget your barf stick. Oh honey, I want to talk to you about something before you leave.

Ashlee: What is it?

Anthon: It is has been bothering me for months. It is your boobs. They are too small and I was hoping that we could double your boob size by two sizes. I know they will look like lopsided balloons on your chest, but I will tell the doctor to put a little sag in them.

Ashlee: I thought you would never ask Anthon, I have been wanting bigger fuller boobs too.

Anthon: Oh, Ashlee!

Ashlee: Oh, Anthon!

Ashlee: I love you so much, you will see that my boobs will be the biggest and firmest just for you Anthon. I will be the most vainest Rich Freak bitch ever.

Anthon: The best thing about it is we can afford it not like all those poor middle and lower class people that have to put on bra enhancements. Hey, I know our insurance doesn’t cover it and we have the the best insurance money can buy, because it is our earthly right to have insurance. And we also have five hundred million dollars.

Anthon: I called “Doctor Charge Too Much” and you have an appointment at nine in the morning. He uses only the best breast improvement materials. His assistantant “I Only Take Rich People as Clients” will help with the procedure.

Anthon: Doctor Charge too much guarantees that you will not have a blow out. Well, can’t totally promise that, be he knows how vain your are Ashlee and he is willing to give your boobs the benefit of the doubt. I promise I won’t bite them too hard.

Ashlee: I love it when you bite them Anthon. You are such a rich freak.

Anthon: There is something else that I want to ask you?

Ashlee: Could you shave you muff. It seems like everyone else is doing it, because I guess they feel they won’t be accepted or looked upon as sexy. I want to be a clone couple Ashlee. he, he, he!

Ashlee: Sure I will shave my love box just for you, because I am insecure that you won’t like me anymore.

Anthon: (poooo!) Damn fish eggs I have gas again, and now I have to change my shorts.

Ashlee: No not again, someone needs to have their ass cosmetically closed.

Anthon: he, he, he!! Maybe I need to get some cosmetic surgery done too.

Ashlee: Yes…You do. Damn Ass-blasters.

The End.

Don’t miss out next enchanting episode: Ashlee gets a boob job and Anthon better like it. Until next time don’t let capitalism take you for a ride. Grus.

Asshole Story…

This is a despotic play about an asshole. There are assholes out there that make the world a much worser place. I don’t know why the world is filled with assholes but it is, I mean what makes a man an asshole? Did their moms not get them the toy they wanted when they were young, or are they just plan psycho. The age old question will be forever unanswered. Well, anyway on with the play.

Note: The Characters are imaginary and the names strictly coincidental to real people. I just choose the names out of the blue. But, the plot of the story is realistic, there are many women out there that are stuck in despotic relationships. If you feel threatened in you home leave the relationship no relationship is worth it if you live with an asshole.

Characters:

Edwin: An Asshole.

Zandra: A woman that got strong.

Three Women: Edwin makes them sick.

Woman: Her couch gets crapped on, and she likes leather.

Edwin: Where were you? I called twelve times to your work, and drove by ten times. You were not there.

Zandra: I went shopping for dog food and other stuff.

Edwin: It is all about the dog, why don’t you get rid of that dog.

Zandra: How dare you tell me what to do, this is my house and she was here before you.

Edwin: I can tell you anything that I want. You are my girlfriend. That dog is a pain in the ass.

Zandra: I am not your possession. I am not someone that you can control, you SOB. I am tried of you always arguing about everything and controlling me all the time. I am tired of you coming home drunk every night and stalking me at work and asking me about my every move. I have had it do you hear me!!

Edwin: You are just being a drama queen. You shut up.

The phone rings. It is Zandra’s Cousin.

RING, RING, RING….

Zandra: Hello. Oh, hi Ray. Yeah, I was just about to kick Edwin out.

Edwin: Who is Ray?!! Who is he?!!

Zandra: Just a minute Ray. He is my cousin do you mind?

Edwin: I do mind.

Edwin Rips the phone out of the wall.

Zandra: You sick bastard. Why did you do that?

Edwin: I am sorry! I am so depressed. I am sorry, it is my bi-polar disorder. I didn’t take my Prozac.

Zandra: You are not half as sorry as I am. There you go again using every excuse for your behavior. You stupid ass. Get out! Get out of my house now!

Edwin: No…I love you. I am sorry!!

Zandra: Get out!

Edwin: I am going out and you can’t stop me! You can’t stop me! Please, I am sorry I can’t make it without you.

Zandra: You are such a nut job, you can’t make it without someone to control. Go ahead go out, you have over stayed your welcome you dumb bastard. You are an accident waiting to happen.

Edwin: How dare you call me a dumb bastard. It is your fault this relationship has gone bad, I have been nothing but caring and true.

Zandra: Yeah, if you call caring loving your booze, cheating on me and making my life hell.

Edwin: I thought you loved me? I thought you cared?

Zandra: I stopped loving you months ago. You make me sick, get out you booze horror.

Narrator (dry Voice): Edwin is an asshole, and he refuses to take any responsibility for his own actions. He is the type guy that has to have control over those that he dates. He should also have a psychological exam before having any type of relationship with an object or a living thing. He has no other feelings for others, and is a selfish bastard, and should be considered completely insane.

Edwin: You stopped loving me a long time ago? Well, how come I am still living here? You picked a fine time to tell me Zandra.

Zandra: Fear. That is why you were allowed to stay. If I dumped you months ago like I wanted to you would have just stalked me and called me at work. You would have called me crying…drunk off your ass. You are jealous of my dog, and I fear for her safety. Here is the restraining order that I have against you. You also need to take your Prozac and all your other poor me medications and get the hell out of here.

Edwin: How could you? I can have any woman that I want. I am a good man. I am…I am. Ahhhhhhhh! I am going to start taking my Prozac again so, that I can be the man that you want me to be lame and impotent.

Zandra: Yeah, go ahead and cry you asshole, it is going to take more than Prozac to make you sane. You are already lame and impotent. You will never be the man that I want. I don’t even want a man. Oh, and those are not tears of pain you are shedding. Those are tears of selfishness and greed. Now, I am going to give you to the count of three to get the fuck out of my house or I am calling the cops. Oh, and every time that we did it I faked it, your little tool was a real joke.

Edwin: (sobbing) You…wouldn’t kick me out you don’t have the guts. I love you (sob) (Sob)

Zandra: I do have the guts you bi-polar skanque. You don’t know what love is, all you care about is you. Do you see this phone? Do you see this button?

Edwin: Yes…I do.

Zandra: I just pressed it and the cops are on their way. They are going to arrest you for trespassing.

Edwin: Trespassing??? This is where I live.

Narrator: You see Edwin is class three asshole, and they are the worse. You can’t reason with a class three asshole because he thinks he is the victim and he gets everyone else on his side. He sees being in the relationship as a method of control, and whatever he does it is not his fault even if he is clearly to blame.

Zandra: Not anymore.

Zandra pushes him out on the street and she throws his clothes out on the side walk. Edwin gets in his car and drives away leaving a huge black mark on her driveway. Edwin quickly drives to a nearby bar to get tanked up. He eats a whole plate of beans and pickled eggs. But, what he doesn’t is he is going to be real regular. He is going to have the Hersey squirts. He is going to spend the whole evening on the toilet letting it all go, because the beans are not so fresh.

Edwin Enters the bar. He looks around for someone to control. He thinks in his own mind that he is hurting Zandra, but what he doesn’t know is that she is throwing a party. It is a Edwin leaving the house party. He sits down and orders three plates of beans and pickled eggs. He sees three women pointing and laughing at him. He finishes the beans, eats sixteen pickled eggs and downs fifteen beers. Edwin gets up and staggers over to the three women.

Edwin: Hi ladies, can I buy you all a drink and then we can have some fun?

Women: Get the fuck out of our faces you loser.

Edwin: I don’t need you three. You all are not good enough for a man like me. I am the man of your dreams ladies, you should have a little respect for me.

Three Women: You are the man of our bad dreams and what they told us to stay away from in health class when were in college. You are an STD infestation. Leave we don’t have time for ass clings like you.

Edwin: Fine I will take my goods elsewhere.

Women: Keep telling yourself that you are good.

Narrator: The three ladies didn’t give him the time of the day. And that is when he sees a woman in the corner winking at him. He decides to put on the charm. He comes to her in normalcy mode. Normalcy mode is when a man or a woman approaches another person and is seen as a totally normal person, but is a complete and utter psycho.

Edwin: I couldn’t help but notice you looking at me. I am a catch, do you want your wildest dreams fulfilled?

Woman: Yes. do you want to go to my place? It is just right across the street. I want you to fulfill my wildest fantasies.

Edwin: Oh, yes. You won’t be disappointed.

Woman: I better not be, or there will be hell to pay.

Narrator: There was only one problem, Edwin was feeling a little sick to his stomach from all those beans he ate. But, in all his selfishness he could not turn down a fuck from a complete stranger. Hey, in the back of his mind he thought that he was hurting Zandra, but she didn’t give a crap she is having an Edwin is moving out party. They walk to the ladies house, and open the door.

Woman: This is my house, I hope that you find it to your liking.

Edwin: It’s OK.

Woman: Just OK? What planet are you from? It is fabulous. I am going to the bathroom and get freshened up.

The woman walks into the bathroom.

Woman: Do you want me to come out naked or in something sexy? I like leather a lot.

Well, Edwin was starting to get really sick, he felt like he wanted to crap is pants. But, his wanting of lust overwrote his desire to use the toilet.

Edwin: (Painful voice) Whatever…I don’t care. I need to use the toilet.

Woman: You like it on the Toilet? That is not a very comfortable position, but we can try it.

The woman walks out naked at this point he doesn’t care. Her perfume makes him want to barf, and his ass was going to blow chunks of pure magnitude.

Edwin: No, I need to use the Toilet I am going to go in my pants.

Woman: What??! You are going to crap your pants. Get out of my house you sick bastard. I thought I was sick with the whips and chains. But, you crapping your pants that takes the cake. I am not into scat honey.

Edwin: I am not a bastard! I need to use the toilet!! I am going in my pants it’s to late, I am going to have chunks in my shorts. POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSCCCCC! OOOOOOOO! SSSOSOOOSO!!!

Woman: I thought that you wanted some rough lovin, but all I can see is you crapping your pants. You got it all over my couch and carpet. You will get a cleaning bill what is your address?

Edwin’s ass: I am sorry that I puked, but someone needed to tell Edwin that he was a sick asshole. Well, I have done my good deed for the day, by exposing him for the person that he is.

Woman: What? Your ass is talking…Edwin if that is what your name is?

Edwin’s Ass: Yes, I am. poooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Edwin’s Tool: I am so small and insecure, please help me. I think I am going to fall off, but I need some. I am need to throw up too.

Edwin: I am so sick, I am going to piss myself.

The women called to cops and they came and picked Edwin up. But, you ask what happened to Edwin. Well, he got clean shorts, and he went to a mental hospital where he would never hurt or stalk anyone ever again.
The End…

Mid-life crisis Actor: A “Fairytale” gone bad…

There once was an actor who was going through a mid-life crisis. He married a much younger woman, because he hoped to keep his youth and not to become the frog prince. He claimed that he was so in love with her, and it was a fairytale start. They got married in Europe and it was like being in a dream.  Well the dream soon became a nightmare…very…very fast.

She thought he was in it for the love, but forget it. He was in it for the power, pure power.  Yes, it was a dark power and there was no stopping him. He was sucking her youth dry everyday every minute. He believed that he would soon be young again and attain immortality.

He couldn’t take it knowing that his wife was years younger than him, and soon after the marriage he  became a  smooth micro-manager of her affairs. He took away all her rights and left her in his big rich freak house full of darkened memories of yesterday. 

But, what it all came down to was that he was insecure and jealous of her power. You see men become insecure and fear they are loosing their power, and they even get worse when they are married to someone younger.

Well, of course she was more powerful that him, and he knew it. Days went by and she was plotting to escape from his evil clenches. She called on the phone to several of her friends asking for advice. She referred to him as her power hungry crypt keeper.

Then one morning when he was away trying to convert a bunch of rich freaks into his religion. She made the escape. She told him that she was tired and she wanted to stay home and rest. He left her home and gave their body guard the key to her room. But, there is one that he didn’t take into account the body gaurd wasn’t supposed to show up until ten thirty. She made a key to her room and to the front door. She would soon be free from the clenches of her despotic marriage.

She went into the garage and got in her car and drove away leaving her evil life behind. When he got home all he found was note of her goodbye. He just melted. And she lived happily ever after. 

THE END.

The Rich Freaks: Anthon and his wife Travel to Mr. Smith’s house.

Characters:

Ashlee: Anthon’s wife.

Anthon: A Rich Freak.

Muffy: The dog.

Mr. Smith: The Rich Freak.

Ashlee: Anthon I am so excited that we are going to see the Smiths, they have such a big house. They are so rich, and they only associate with people whose crap doesn’t stink.

Anthon: Yeah, well I have gas stuck up in my ass, and I am sure that it smells like rotting meat. Remember what happened the last time?

Ashlee: Damn not again you are going to ruin another perfectly good trip. You started our SUV’s Drivers seat on fire, and made a fool of yourself in front of the Wygants.

Anthon: Yeah. Well, it might happen again. Oh, the humanity Ashlee oh the pain.

Ashlee: You shouldn’t have eaten Caviar, Tofu, and water Chestnuts last night. Oh, Anthon take your gas like a man and hold it within. Here is a Gas-Be-Gone-From-Your-Ass pill, it works fast.

Gas-Be-Gone-From-Your-Ass Commercial: It’s over the counter strength works instantly. Hey, we know you are rich so you can go about your day not being accountable for your actions especially not your farts. Use Gas-Be-Gone-From-Your-Ass today and watch your gas go away.

Anthon: I am a rich man, and I shouldn’t have to blow ass-blasters from my golden ass. It makes me feel like I am a middle class man.

Ashlee:I know Anthon, and for that my heart goes out to you. You must be strong and hold the gas that you have in your ass within. You must not release it into this world.

Anthon:I need to change the subject. I thought maybe we would take Muffy on this trip. She is such a sweet dog.

Ashlee: Yes, I agree Anthon after all we shouldn’t leave our little dog at home.

Muffy: Damn, rich people they give me the expensive food, I almost gag every time they feed me. I am a poster dog for their rich freak cause. He better not blow a fart off in the car, I swear that I will jump. You know what that bad part of this is, I am a male dog. They keep saying she. I need to find me a good middle class family.

Ashlee and Anthon get in their Rich Freak SUV, and drive to Mr. Smiths house.

Ashlee: How do you feel?

Anthon: The pressure is building, the walls of my colon are dividing and then multiplying and not subtracting.

Ashlee:Honey hold the gas, after all we have good insurance we are not like those poor people that have no insurance. Hey, we live in America and we rich people are the only one’s that can afford to have good health coverage. Insurance is our divine right. They can repair your butt if it rips, you can get plastic surgery in your ass.

Anthon: Well, I am going to rip a nasty one. My ass is reaching terminal velocity.

Ashlee: Well, it is a good thing that we paid a little extra to fire proof our SUV seats.

Anthon:You said that, after all we can afford the finer things in li..fe.

Ashlee: What is wrong Anthon? Hold it in we are almost there. We are almost there, honey.

Anthon can’t hold his gas anymore. He slams on the breaks and runs off the road.

Anthon: I can….not…hold it.

Ashlee: No!!! We are out of control. Hold the SUV steady.

Anthon’s ass:Poooooooooooooooooooooossssssssssssssssssso

oooooooddddddaaaaas hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Anthon: My ass is on fire. The fire proof seats didn’t hold up. My fart must have been three thousand degrees plus.

Ashlee: That was the most nasty smelling fart that I have ever smelled. I am going to barf. (BAAAAAAAA! Burp!)

Ashlee Barfs and then passes out. The car stops on the side of the road. Anthon jumps out and Ashlee wakes up just in time to put the fire out with their four thousand dollar fire extinguisher. The dog jumps out and runs away, but not without exchanging words with them.

Muffy:I am out of here you two. I am tired of smelling and choking on Anthon’s ass-blasters. I am going to find a good middle class home. I am tired of you blaming your farts on Tofu and Caviar. It is beyond you two to have potatoes and corn.

Muffy Runs away.

Ashlee:Well, you did it again. You managed to blow off an ass-blaster that messed up everything.

Anthon: Get in the car we will drive to the Smiths house.

Ashlee:What about Muffy?

Anthon: Let him go. If he wants a middle class family then let him go to a middle class family.

They pull up to the Smith’s house. They get out.

Mr. Smith: Welcome Anthon and Ashlee. What is that nasty smell?

Anthon: I farted and started the SUV on fire.

Mr.Smith: You are no friend of mine. Anyone that farts and it stinks is out of my circle of friends. I am a rich man and I have no time for farts and people that throw them.

Anthon: I am going to decontaminate myself. Ashlee has a decontamination kit that gets rid of the smell and cleans the body from head to toe from fart residue.

Mr. Smith: Well, in that case OK.

Ashlee sprays Anthon off and he now smells like roses.

Mr. Smith: You smell fresh again. You can be my friend…please come inside and eat some tofu and fish eggs because you two are worth it.

Anthon: Wooo! Haaaaa! Haaaaaa!

Ashlee: Haaa! Haaa!

Mr. Smith: Heeeee! Heeeee!

The End…

Here is what Anthon should have done. He should have blew off the fart before he left, because he knows that his assblasters cause conflict. There would have been no fire and Muffy might have stayed. Mr. Smith is a shallow asshole who only likes people for their money, thus accepts Anthon because he is rich. Thus, making Anthon a fake freak who only sees people for the amount of cash they have and not for their depth.

Grus.

Asshole Man…

There is a bastard that I know. He is an asshole by design, and has managed to get everyone on his side. He is going through a divorce, and he is giving his ex-wife all the blame. 

He claims that he did nothing wrong, and he is the victim.  Well,  he is too immature to take responsibly for his own actions. He emotionally abused her, and somehow has got all his friends to feel sorry for him and his parents too. They feel sorry for him…ah! It is all about him, and once again in today’s me, me, me world he is getting his cake and eating it too.

Hey, I know it takes two people to get a divorce, and I am not saying his ex-wife is a saint either. He was a jerk to his wife, and he needs to admit to the world that he is an insecure asshole.

You see no-one wants to take responsibility for their actions. They want to blame others for the things they do. The problem here is accountability, and accountability no longer exists on a local or global level.

Accountability is a lonely concept that has been thrown in the trash like a crumbled up piece of paper. Hey, this guy is just one example of accountability there are other people in this world that need to take responsibility for their actions. They need to be held accountable for the atrocities they commit at the local and global levels.

 Peace…Grus.

-

Asshole in the Office…

There are people that are just assholes they are unhappy, and they want the whole world to feel the same as they do. They feel that if they make everyone else’s life a complete hell they have accomplished something. Hell, there are people out there that have earned a degree in assholeology.

There was once a person who was an asshole in her office. She threatened other employees, and bitched about her work environment. She had a poor me attitude and played the victim but, inside she was just an insecure jealous ass munch who couldn’t seem get her life together. Well, days went by and she continued to threaten, and make comments about an employee that did nothing to her.

Well, the employee that was being threatened went to her supervisor. Her supervisor went to the asshole to find out why she was threatening the other employee. She knew that she had been found out, and she got pissed off and decided to sue the company. She claimed the company was trying to get her fired. She refused to take any of the responsibility for her actions, because in her sick mind she did nothing wrong. She claimed that she had depression, and that was why she was threatening the other employee. There is always an excuse.

In this sue happy world, you don’t have to take responsibility for your actions it is always someone else’s fault. All you got to do is claim a mental illness and play the game. Well, the company received the sue happy papers from the asshole’s lawyer. The company gladly accepted the challenge, because she had no case.

She walked into the court and cried her ass off to the jury. Due to the selfish nature of society, it was all about her. But, when the employee that she had threatened took the stand. She had evidence that ruined the asshole’s plan of getting millions off the company. She played a video tape for the world to see. It clearly showed how hostile the asshole was, the asshole got up and threw a huge tantrum.

The asshole lost her case that day. She got exposed for the unhappy ass munch that she was, and you may ask what she is doing today. Well, she has moved to another company and continues to make someone’s life a living hell, and plays the victim. But, here is the point of the story no one listens to her bullshit, because she speaks words of shit. And why would someone listen to someone who speaks shit.

Stay safe… Grus.

Wake up and smell the sickness the Hypocrites are out there…

Yes, ladies and gentlemen the world is filled with hypocrites. In fact the world is dripping with them. You see there are people out there that are willing to tell you what to do or how to think with threats and false pretenses. But, in their lives they are doing the same things they are telling their “flocks” not to do. They are secretly doing and acting upon what they publicly despise. I wish to tell you a story about a man who thought he was perfect in every way. But, under all his “righteousness” he was a lier and a cheat.

There once was a man who had a nice car and a big house, and lots of money in the bank. He lived in a rich freak neighborhood. His wife got plastic surgery, so that she could keep her “young looks”. He drove to work every morning in his SUV with dollar signs in his eyes. Yes, big fat dollar signs. And the worst part he disguised himself as a man of righteousness.

In his mind he had invented his own religion, he made himself a being all knowing an icon of holiness. He was human, but in his mind he was above everyone and his wife thought she was too. He took from the poor in the name a faith. He turned families against one another. There was no end to his brainwashing tactics.

He stood in front of hundreds of thousands begging them for money, telling them that if they gave to his cause their lives would become better. Well, their lives didn’t become better they became poorer, and he became richer and richer. He played on people that were down on their luck, but in the process took their life savings from them.

He loved the control and loved the spotlight. He loved to stand up and say powerful words marked by threats that made the people in his “flock” feel guilty. He made them feel they were not good enough, that their lives were based on sin and blasphemy. He made people feel that they somehow needed him. He would make people go into convulsions, and make others faint. He claimed to heal people just by touching them, people would come up by the hundreds and start “walking” again. They were all paid of course, and ladies and gentlemen that made his gimmick seem even more realistic.

Well, this went on for months and months soon he was the most powerful self-righteous bastard ever!! He had millions in bank from people he exploited. Well, he got caught doing some not so nice things. He had a woman on the side, he loved doing her. He got caught with his hands in the cookie jar. Well, a reporter got a tip on where his he was having his “immoral” activities at, and some photos surfaced. However, this is not the end of it he also had a man on the side too.

Well, he went before his “flock” and told them it wasn’t him it was a dark force that made him do it. Yes, he cried huge tears, but those tears were not genuine, they were tears of selfishness. And what he feared was backlash from those he took from. Because, you see he couldn’t blame himself. He couldn’t find it in himself to take responsibly for his actions. Hey, that is what most people do. It is always someone else’s fault.

Well, his flock didn’t buy his confession they hissed and booed. He got on his hands and knees and screamed his well thought out confession. Please…don’t blame me. Blame the sin, it was all sin’s fault. I am still the man that you all can look up to. His makeup ran, he pounded his fists into the floor crying and screaming. But, while he was throwing his tantrum everyone exited the building. When he finished all was quiet, even his ushers left.

Then weeks later people started sending him letters demanding that he give them their money back. Then his wife divorced him, and then he became homeless and penniless after settling with all those he took money from. Because a judge demanded that he give the money back or face jail time.

The moral of this story…if something sounds too good to be true it probably isn’t. There are people out there that pretend to be people of holiness but are not. And what goes around comes around. This is Grus saying be careful out there.

The Snob…

There was once a snob who felt that she was better than everyone else. She went to a country club, played golf, stuck her nose up at everyone, and drove an SUV. There was one thing that scared her, and it was her caviar farts. She called a well known doctor for help. She demanded that he give her a prescription that could rid her of her nasty assblasters.

Well, the doctor told her that she had to toot, and it was a fact of life. She was so mad, and threatened to sue the doctor because he had no cure. Because today everyone wants a handout. Well, the doctor told her to get out of his office, but you know what she didn’t. She called her lawyer and he came marching down with his briefcase full of goodies.

She told her lawyer that her doctor told her that he had a cure for farts, but he had lied. The doctor said he didn’t say that. The lawyer of course agreed with the doctor, but she was the one that was paying the bills, so he sided with her. We are going to sue you cried the lawyer. The doctor said that he had no case, because everyone knows that they most fart every now and then.

The woman went into tears and claimed mental stress for her reason for suing. Because you see, every time that she throws an assburner she feels that she is a common person and her mother didn’t raise her to be a common person. She was raised to be a princess with a silver spoon in her mouth.

The day finally came for her monster court case. Everyone in the courtroom laughed their asses off when they found out what the case was all about. It was her turn to take the stand. Well, she was all ready to cry some serious tears. Her rich freak husband was able to afford the best law team, and he was there for support.

She told her testimony: Ladies and gentlemen I want you to know. I have to fart, and for that I feel dirty. That man over there Dr. Promise told me he could cure my farts. Well, you know what…he didn’t. And just this morning I blew a nasty fart in the shower, at the kitchen table, and while kissing my husband goodbye. He told me that he could make all my dreams come true, he told me he could close my ass forever!!

The doctors lawyer asked her why she wanted her ass closed. She replied, so that she could stop releasing stench into the world and making her panties smell nasty. The jury chucked, one of the jurors had to leave the courtroom, because she laughed so much that she nearly wet herself.

You think this is funny said the rich freak. You think that I am mad. Well, I am not. I am a rich woman who doesn’t need to be letting huge assblowers. My ass is golden. Well, the judge threw out case, he said her case was a waste of time, and sided with the doctor. Well, she threw a huge tantrum in front of everyone, and then pooped her pants and has never been heard from again.

The moral of the story just because you have money doesn’t mean that your shit doesn’t stink.