There once were three college women. They went to a bar to have a drink after a long hard day of work and school. They were minding their own business when along came two jerks and a two assholes. These misconfigured men looked at the women from across the bar. The jerks came over first and asked if they could buy the women a drink. The jerks were nice, because they only wanted one thing…(lovin).
Well, the women said no, and the jerks got mad. The three ladies were called very bad names by the nasty looking jerks. This made the three women very angry, but they held back their anger. Do you want to know why they held their anger, because the jerks weren’t worth their time.
Then the assholes came over they were drunk off their asses. They asked the ladies to dance. Well, once again the ladies declined their offer. This made the assholes very mad, and they became very irritated and down right pissed off. In the other corner of the bar a bouncer noticed that the ladies were being bothered. The bouncer came over and told the assholes to stop bothering the three ladies or they would have to leave. The assholes wanted to start a fight. You see assholes run in packs, and are generally cowards by themselves. You get one alone they are nothing but insecure fucks.
The ladies came up with a plan. They would play the asshole’s game. They would wait until the assholes asked them to go home with them and they would get their revenge. They would make the assholes pay for everything that they have done to anyone they’ve ever hurt.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THEY WENT HOME WITH THE ASSHOLES…
College woman one: So this is your place, asshole one?
Asshole One: Yes, it is full of fine things, would you like see the rest of the house. I have only the most expensive stuff. I make two million dollars a year. My daddy was a rich freak.
College women one: What do you do?
Asshole One: I have a trust fund.
College woman one: It must be nice to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth!!!
Asshole one: Are you laughing at me? Do you think I am less of a man? Well, do you? (crying)
College Woman two: Why don’t you two drop the trust fund shit!!! Would you show us the bedroom? I am so horney!!
Asshole Two: I was hoping that you would say that. After all we are so sexy, asshole one and myself.
Asshole One: Yes, forget the rest of the house, there is no time to waste. I want some “action”, do you mind if we film the “action”? There is one more request I ask of you both? Would you shave your pubic hair, because everyone that is anyone shaves. I hope you two are conformists? I hope that you will feel sexy and accepted only if you shave your pubic hair just like everyone else.
College Woman two: You just wait and see there is going to be a big surprise waiting for you two!!
College Woman one: We will shave just for you, and college woman three would love to film it. It will be so much fun, our naked bodies doing the nasty.
College Woman three: I will film all the action, you just wait an see.
Asshole one: Oh, mistress please spank me silly. I can’t hold my emotions GO AND SHAVE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and I hope that you are wearing nice and sexy underwear. (kiss, kiss)
College women two: Oh, we will!!! Oh, we will!!! We will shave our muffs bald just for you assholes.
The two college women go to the restroom. They don’t shave, but they take gas inducing pills called: Fart and go gas be gone pills. These pills are guaranteed to get the gas out naturally without the side effects and the hype. The warning label cautions that the farts might be stinky, and should be expelled only in an open area. The two ladies come out in their panties and bra. The assholes are already naked.
Asshole one: Why aren’t you two naked? I thought that you would want to be naked before us?
Asshole two: Come on College Woman two let’s go to my love chamber.
College Woman two: OK!!
College woman two and asshole two retire to his “love chamber”. Meanwhile in the living room college woman one and asshole one are building trust and friendship, or so asshole one would like to think.
College women one: Come closer asshole one. I want you to smell my butt. It smells so sexy. I know that you will like it. I sprayed perfume all over it, and my butt hole is spotless so you can lick it. College woman three bring the camera over here.
College woman three: Yes, if that is your request. There is not much on him to film, if you know what I mean.
College woman one: Don’t listen to her asshole one.
Asshole one: Oh, I want to smell it my mistress. I want to see its roundness. I want to sniff your butt, so bad it hurts. Oh, please! Please! I want it…
College woman one: And you shall have it my pet in a really big way.
What Asshole one doesn’t know is that College woman one has a huge assblaster building in her ass?
College Woman one: Come closer.
Asshole one: Yes, mistress.
College women one: Closer. That’s it!!!
Then with the move of her sphincter she lets out the most disgusting assblaster.
The sound of her huge fart echoes throughout the room and house. It scares asshole one, and he runs to the bathroom. His eyes are burning, because her ass blaster made him gag and lose his lunch. Here’s what happened in their own words:
Asshole one: My nose is against your butt, and it does smell fresh. It smells like roses and flowers. I feel as if I were running through a field of flowers on a spring day.
College Woman one: Well, here is my surprise. I know you will like it. You won’t be saying roses and flowers in a few seconds I am afraid.
Asshole one: I know that I will, and we will spend the rest of our lives together. Would you marry me? What do you mean in a few minutes?
Then with those words said. College woman one farts in the assholes face.
College Woman one’s ass: Poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!
Asshole one: My eyes!!! My eyes!! I need…to…go to the restroom. My eye are burning, and I am gagging! I am going to throw up all my trust fund food. (BARF)
College woman one: My job is finished here. College woman three did you get that on film?
College woman three: Yes, and now I can send the tape to his wife. I am sure that he is married he is a third level asshole.
Sounds of barfing can be heard in the bathroom, and then the flushing of a toilet.
Asshole one: YOU TRICKED ME YOU FREAK!!!! I am going to pass out the smell is too intense. I can’t get it out of my head. Ahhhhhhhhh! (BARF) I BARFED AGAIN!!!! My wallpaper fell off. (BARF)
Then college woman one and college woman three leave the house. However, College woman three is summed to film Asshole two and college woman two’s act of love. Meanwhile in asshole two’s love chamber.
Asshole two: Aren’t you going ask me what I do?
College Woman two: What do you do? (She Could Care less)
Asshole two: I am a politician! I am very married, but I need the release. I rip people off for a living it is so much fun!!! I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, and I do what I want. I want to do you now!!!!
College Woman two: How does it make you feel to rip people off? It sounds dumb that you get off by ripping people off.
Asshole two: Say what you want I am ready for action. I want it now, and you are just the pet to give me some lovin.
College woman two: OK, I am going to give you some action. I want to tie you to the bed. It will be so sexy. You will like it, and it might even bring a tear to your eyes. Then I want to sit on your face. My beauty will make you barf with love.
Asshole Two: Yes, I want that too. I want to smell your freshness. I want to feel your love. I want to divorce my wife and run away with you. But, there is one thing that I request that you don’t film our love being made. I have to break the news to my wife softly, and the public thinks I am pure and righteous. They think I am the man next door.
College woman two ties him to the bed with her magic scarfs. She lights some candles, and sets a romantic mood. But, her plan is far from romantic. She has a big butt burner brewing deep within her butt. She is waiting for the right moment to let it all go.
College woman two: You are in for the surprise of your life.
Asshole two: I know it, and I am so in love. (crying)
College woman two: I knew that you would fall in love with me. We only met an hour ago.
Asshole two: I know true love when I see it. We have gone through so much.
College woman two: Yeah, what ever. Do you want your surprise?
Asshole two: Yes, mistress! I want it now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
College woman two: OK! Here it goes. I want to sit on your face. I want you to feel all of me. I have so much love to give you!!!
College woman sits on asshole two’s face and blows the biggest fart ever blown in North America. The walls even change color from white to green.
College Woman two’s ass: popopopopolpopopopopopopopoppopoo!
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Asshole Two: I feel sick untie me. I am going to throw up! My eyes are burning! My eyes! No! No, please no.
Then as the fart is thrown, Asshole Two’s wife comes in and leaves him.
Asshole Two’s Wife: I am done with you. I am going to tell the world what you are, and that you let someone blow a fart on your face.
Asshole Two: B…A…R…F!!!!
College Woman two: My job is done here. Have a nice day.
College Woman one: Have a good one, guys.
College Woman three: I got it all on film.
Then as the college women leave the house, their farts were so stinky that both asshole two and asshole one are forced to run out into the street where the media exposes them for the assholes that they really are. You may ask how asshole two got untied. Well, the farts were so nasty that the scarfs just melted away. The three college women were never bothered again.
FIN
