POST RATING: ADULT. ADULT SITUATIONS. ADULT CONTENT. ADULT THEMES.
Environ-mental Man: I am going to a save the environment rally today. I want the world to think that I care. There is going to actors and political people of all kinds in attendance– people that can afford causes.
His Wife: Can you fill up the SUV on your way home. That V8 burns too much gas. I just filled up on Tuesday, and today is Friday. I just went downtown and bought thirty-five hundred dollars worth of clothes. I bought four thousand dollars worth of shoes, and I bought a new five-thousand dollar mink fur coat made with real fur. Hey, as long as I have my fur the ozone layer can all go away.
Environ-mental Man: I got a new pair of three-hundred and fifty dollar sandals just for the rally. How do you like my dirty unclean hair and new drum? I had the hair salon make sure my hair looks nasty and authentic. I paid three hundred dollars for this nasty unclean looking haircut.
His Wife: That is the price you pay for being fake. Hey, I am fake all that time, and I don’t even have to act. (he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he)
Environ-mental Man: I think you are wrong. I am no fake.
His Wife: Yes, you are! All of us rich freak political smug people are fake; we all want the world to think that we care. And if they think we care we can rule the world, and do exactly what we want. (Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha)
Environ-mental Man: I might be a fake, but I am going to bang on my drum for the environment. I just took my first hippy dance and drum class this week. I think I can make them think I am intense.
His Wife: Most hippies don’t take drum and dance lessons Environ-mental Man. They just learn it through experience. What vehicle are you going to drive? You are such a smug ass. You have to drive the sports car.
Environ-mental Man: The members might think that I am a hypocrite if I drive the SUV that only gets ten miles to the gallon on a good day. I am going to drive the small car with the big dent in the left door and “the save the earth or it will die sticker” on the bumper. I want to look like I’m the modest intense hippy type. I am borrowing a puppy from the pet shop to make it look like I am traveling with my dog in the car.
His Wife: You own a chemical company, you are far from modest. You are going to drive the one-hundred-thousand dollar sports car it has a V-6 in it with Satellite radio, power steering, and GPS. You are a rich freak, you need to show it.
Environ-mental: The share holders own the company and don’t forget that. I am just profiting from it. If I don’t ass kiss the public into thinking that I care about the environment no one will take me seriously. How can I fulfill my plan of world domination, if I don’t drive a small car and act like I am humble?
His Wife: You can pull the wool over everyone’s eyes. I know that you have been having an affair with your secretary. She told me that you have been doing her during lunch, and in between meetings, and in her car in the parking lot and at her house, and at motels from here to the county line.
Environ-mental man: Yes, I have. You just aren’t giving me the ”pleasure” that I need. She wants me to leave you. Now, I can’t leave you because that would create a scandal, I am just about to run for an office. I need a clean slate, because I am a man of power, and men of power have no power if they get caught doing their secretary. I tell her that I am going to leave you when the election is over.
His Wife: I don’t care if you are banging your secretary. I have a secret…and you are going to like this one. I am banging someone too. I am banging your friend Mr. kick-back Smith. He does me real good, and his wife even joins in on the fucking. She films him doing my pussy, and sucking my tits.
Environ-mental man: This is a fine time for you to be doing Frank. I am going to have a talk with him.
His Wife: No, you are not you are just as guilty as I am. You see I have needs too, and you don’t fulfill them. So, I am going to his place while you are ass kissing the environmentalists into believing that you care. So, go and get into your three hundred dollar car and take your silly haircut and sandals and get the fuck out.
Environ-mental man: I will get the fuck out… and I hope that frank has premature ejaculation issues.
His Wife: He doesn’t. He can hold his orgasm for hours. He even has enough left over for his wife when I leave.
Environ-mental man: I am going see you later.
His Wife: I won’t be here when you get home, so I won’t leave a light on.
Mr. Environ-mental man goes to the rally. There are all kinds of people dancing and banging on drums and venders selling t-shirts for twenty-three dollars and fifty cents. There are venders selling environmentally safe food, for fifty-dollars a pack. There are venders selling hats and back scratchers that say “save the earth or it won’t save you”. There are VIP tents where you can get a three-hundred dollar bottle of wine, and forty dollar bottles of water all going into the venders pocket. The rally has valet parking, and Mr. Environ-mental is on the “A” list, and if you are hot they have tents you can sit under for fifty-thousand dollars.
Rick: Hello, Environ-mental man how do you like my haircut? I want the world to know that I care about the environment. I just donated thirty-five thousand dollars to saving our world. I really care. How do you like my dog?
Environ-mental man: Your dog is fine. Your haircut is like mine.
Rick: The dirty hippie haircuts are in this year. Hey, don’t tell anyone, but this dog is not my real dog it is part of my outfit. Well, I better get back to my wife. She is still sore from the nose job that she got this week. I love her new nose, it looks so sexy, and I love her new tits even more.
Environ-mental man: That is great. Have you seen Fake actor man?
Rick: Yes, he is over there dancing in a trance. He just got back from a third world country he spent a week over there. He really know what it is like to live there. He cares so much…bye.
Environ-mental man: Hey, fake actor man.
Fake Actor Man: Hey, Environ-mental man I like your haircut it is the same as mine. Do you want to join us; we are dancing to purify ourselves. Here put on this lotion and all of the chemicals that are bad in your body will come out at the application area…it really works. The bottle only costs three-hundred dollars.
Environ-mental man: No, I have to give my speech on environmental issues, but I will buy a bottle. I do need to get the chemicals out of my system.
Fake Actor Man: I want you to know that I care. (Tears) I am dancing away the pain. Do you want to dance with us? I like your dog.
Environ-mental freak: He and I are traveling all over the great land to save the Earth.
The speaker: Hello everyone before we get started today I have an announcement. Do you ever get that not so good feeling! (The crowd cheers) Well, I know that I do. If you go to the tent in the back you can get an enema for five-hundred dollars. It will make your butt feel like a million dollars. Well, without further introduction I give you Environ-mental man.
Environ-mental Man: Welcome everyone I hope that you all are having an earth saving day. I came here to tell you that the earth is falling apart that if we don’t do something, we might all just fall off this big rock. I am running for office, and if I am voted to office I will give everyone a save the Earth tee-shirt and cap. I will also tell the gas and oil companies to stop making oil and gas, and tell people to stop farting.
The Speaker interrupts Environ-mental man.
The Speaker: Do you have gas? Do you have problems with hot air after a big bullshit speech to the public? Well, we have the cure: hot air be gone. It only costs three hundred dollars a bottle and you can purchase it in tent five-d. Now, back to the speech everyone.
Environ-mental man: That is really a great product. It really gets rid of the bull-shit stains, and for three hundred dollars you can’t beat that. I just used it today. There is something that I need to get out into the open (crying) I think the Earth is crying out for help. It is saying help me. You know if I am in office, I will make sure that I free the world. Thank you.
The crowd cheers and everyone votes for him. He gets into office by ass kissing and out right lying. His wife keeps banging his friend. He keeps banging his Secretary. Life is still the same nothing changed. He forgets about the environment, and gives tax breaks to the rich and big corporations. He gives makes money off Oil and Gas. Some of the people that voted for him get poorer and he and his rich friends get richer. He makes sure his chemical company gets all the government contracts.
It is good to fight for the environment. However, it is not good to use it to get into office (because it is popular topic) and then doing nothing about it. The Earth really is paying the price for our greed and ignorance. Support the Earth, but question your leaders.
Note: It is OK to be a hippy, but only if your heart is in it.
FIN
