Love story: When “love” comes to an end…

24 06 2007

King love freak: Why has love forsaken us? Why must I leave your side and live a life of loneliness and Solitude?

Queen of fate: Why don’t you see the chasm which is burning within my bosom for you my king?

King love freak: Leave thy side and go your own way. Please do not look back, there is no need for you to love me thy queen. 

 Queen of fate: You talk of such nonsense, please rethink thy choice. I shall have to make haste with my future.

King love freak: It is better that we separate thy queen for tomorrow you will bring my bosom such pain, pain from the very core of my being.

Queen of fate: Why does thy talk like that? You speak in such pain and bitterness. Thou shall have to cry in your magnificent presents my vain lover.

King love freak: Why does thy think of me vain. I am releasing you so that you shall find love again and find another. That is giving from me.

Queen of fate: I am forever trapped in your bond of love. There is no vanity within you.

King love freak: There is no need to shed any tears for me my queen. Save thy tears for another that shall be more deserving of you.

Queen of fate: You are the only being that is deserving of me. My mind is filled with only you, for you are the only one that feeds the fire within thy bosom.

King love freak: You scare me with those words you put needles through my cracked and broken heart. I shall fall to my knees and beg you to leave my side— go to a distant land, I am forsaken and broken.

Love:  Why must thou choose to break one another’s heart. It is a sickness that has endured for thousands of years—couples breaking each others hearts.

Queen of Fate:  Why must thou forsake us love? Why must you stop us from birthing a just human being or creating a life in paradise? Love you have left us out in the cold to bleed from time lost in each others arms.

King Love Freak: Why are you taunting love’s just bidding my queen?

Love: Does thou know your love is coming to an end? Does thou know that you two are soul mates.

Queen of Fate: Do not speak of us love, for we are going to leave on our separate ways. We shall never kiss or touch or kiss each others bosoms again, because we will be on seperate parts of this big world many oceans apart.

Love: Do not demand words that I shall never speak to you. How could you separate that is not my bidding for you? Your destiny is a life together.

Queen of Fate: What are you talking about love? You have already forsaken us? Why do you burden us with all this emotional baggage?

Love: Baggage, does thy know how to take the blame for thy self?

King love freak: Yes, love why do you burden us with attraction and emotion?

Love: Blame no one but yourselves. Do you both still feel attraction? Do you feel emotion, trust, and security? It is you that is feeling those feelings not I.

Queen of fate: Yes, thy feel love for my king, but thou know that we can never be together again.

King Love Freak: Why do you taunt me so, you know I will suffer. You know I am suffering now being in your presents my queen.

Queen of fate: I am not yours King, no one can possess another. It is sick to say that I belong to you. You no longer belong to me king. Leave me now. This relationship has gone sour.

Love: Why! Please rethink this I will disappear from you both forever.

Queen of Fate: There is nothing to rethink, goodbye King love freak. I am off into a world of solitude.

King love Freak:  Goodbye my love. I shall get you out of my mind. I will be hard, but then again nothing is easy.

Queen of Fate: I am not your love. I am only a person in your past. I must think of the future. You must think of the future without me.  I have many miles to travel. I must bid you goodbye, King love freak.

King love freak: Goodbye! I shall shed no more tears. I will only laugh at the good times that we had.  

Queen of fate: Goodbye.  

Love: No!!!!!!

Queen of fate: Yes.

King love freak: Yes.

The two ex-lovers travel to distant lands away from one another never to be heard from or seen again. The moral of the story is if a relationship is bad then it can’t be fixed. It can be patched, but never fixed. Instead of spending all that money to patch a relationship just get out of it if it is too expensive to repair.  It is also safe to say that people can’t possess one another everyone is an independent being.  FIN

Gray’s Colostomy: Can’t Stop the farting.

21 06 2007

Characters in this episode:

Doctor Meredeath Gloom
Doctor Crusty “Confused” Yank
Doctor Dork Smartass
Doctor Asslex Crass
Doctor Isa-stuck-up
Anthon the great
Diane the all knowing
Poor man.
Homeless women.

Welcome to another episode of Gray’s Colostomy. In this episode our hard working doctors are faced with a dilemma. A rich freak named Anthon the great comes in with gas, and he can’t stop farting. Will he be cured or face a life of gas.  They treat him because he is a rich freak, and has the best insurance known to humanity. Meanwhile there are patients who have no insurance with real medical problems that are turned away. Well, on with the show.

Meredeath Gloom: We have more homeless people in the emergency room. I don’t know why they come here do they think this is social medicine?

Asslex Crass: Kick them out or better yet have the paramedics take them to some bad part of town and drop them off. They have no insurance, and I am a rich and power prissy doctor. I have an image to keep. I only treat people that have status and can further my career.

Meredeath Gloom: I have to agree with you. We rich freaks have all the money ( he, he, he, he…woo, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha)!! Money, money, give me more money. I want it so bad. I have been ripping patients off for ten years, and I twenty million dollars and I WANT MORE!!!!!!!!!!!

Dork Smartass: Are you talking about money my love pure green money. When we get home Meredeath I am going to lay you down in a huge bath tub full of money. I am so damn rich! I am such a bad ass.

Asslex Crass: Why don’t you two get a damn room.  I am still trying to make up with Isa-stuck-up. She hates me, because I am so beautiful.

Dork Smartass: Shut up Asslex. You are such a poor me bastard. Get over yourself.

Asslex Crass: I will never get over myself. I am just like everyone else in society, all I care about is me.  I am such a gift to medicine, women, and the world. I became a doctor for the one thing and one thing only for the  fame and fortune.

Meredeath Gloom:  Everyone just ignore Doctor Crass he has ego problems. Give me some sugar Dork Smartass. I want your golden rod of lust tonight in that big bath tub full of money. Then when we get out we can use some of that money to start a romantic fire. I need it so bad.

Dork Smartass: That you shall have my love. That you shall have. I am just the man to give it to you.  You are so hot. I love the way that you talk about my golden rod of lust and my cash.

Crusty Yank: Doctor Smartass!!!  Anthon the great has just entered the emergency room.  We need to give him the best treatment we can; he is so damn rich.

Meredeath Gloom: What is wrong with him? Give me his stats ASAP.

Crusty Yank: He is farting uncontrollably. He is blowing one ass blaster after another; the emergency room smells like shit. We are all wearing our Bio hazard suits. Where am I? Who am I? No one loves me. I need love. No, wait I want a career without love and passion. I need a good vibrator.

Meredeath Gloom: Get a hold of yourself Crusty Yank, you will find love. I know Anthon the great’s status is critical. Help me suit up. We need to be very careful Anthon’s ass may reach critical mass. 

Asslex Crass: If I treat Anthon he will give me a million dollars, and I will be the most powerful doctor in this hospital. Hold on a second…I already have a million dollars. I want a bllion dollars. That is not too much to ask for, I mean I am the greatest doctor in the world. I am going to suit up.

 All the doctors run to the emergency room to help Anthon the great, not in the name a compassion, but in the name of greed. He has filled the room up with ass gas. 

Asslex Crass: Hello Anthon the great. What is the problem? 

Anthon the great: I went to a middle class home, because I was doing a charity case. I wanted them to think that I really cared, and I ate some beans. Then my wife and I got no!!!! pooooooo oooooooooooo!!!!! We got in the car, and I just started farting. My wife throw up in the processs…no…no…POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Asslex Crass: Get Mr. Great some diapers stat. 

Anthon the Great: I will give you a billion dollars if you heal my ass. What is your name? 

Asslex Crass: Asslex. You can call me doctor Crass.

Meredeath Gloom: He is mine Doctor Crass. I am the one to heal his “issue”. I know more than you do… 

Asslex Crass: I know more that you. I am all knowing and powerful.

Homeless woman: Doctor I have a sharp pain in my left side can you help?

Asslex Crass: Do you have insurance? 

Homeless woman: No. But, I do need help. 

Meredeath Gloom: Get her out of here. Paramedics!!! Take her to the worse part of town, and drop her off, so she will get lost in the cracks of society forever and ever. Oh, and here is a thousand dollars for your trouble. The hospital will thank you for it.   

Paramedic 1: Yes, doctor Gloom. I love money, oh sweet money. (He cries and kisses it)

Homeless Woman: NO! NO! Please. I am dieing. 

They take homeless women away into an awaiting Ambulance. 

Asslex Crass: Whatever.

Poor Man: I have a pain all over my body. Please don’t do what you did to her.  I fear that I am very sick.

Asslex Crass: Can’t you see that we are treating Anthon. His ass is in deep pain. We must get the farting stopped. His ass might reach critical mass.  

Dork Smartass: Security take poor man away. Get him a pack of breath freshener gum out of the machine down the hall and charge him three hundred dollars for it, and then send him on his way.

Security Guard: Yes, Doctor Smartass.

Crusty Yank: His wife is in the waiting room. She can tell us what happened. Why were they dragging that woman away? 

Meredeath Gloom: She didn’t have insurance. They are dropping her off in the bad part of town. Don’t worry about it. We are going to charge her for the Ambulance ride three thousand dollars. She can’t pay it but we want to get her in debt, we want her to feel that she owes us something (he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he).  

Crusty Yank: I am confused. Aren’t we supposed to help people? 

Asslex Crass: We only help people if the price is right Crusty Yank. Anthon the great is our priority. You either play the game or get a new job. You are not a team player.

They walk to the waiting room where Anthon’s wife Diane the all knowing waits on the status of her husband. 

Diane the a knowing: Is my husband going to be ok? Please tell me doctor!!

Asslex Crass: Your husbands status is serious. We can’t stop the farting. There is one thing that I want you to know your husbands ass might reach critical mass.

Diane the all knowing: No, not critical mass. I need him to help me take over the world.

Meredeath Gloom: Please tell us what happened to your husband?  

Diane the all knowing: We where at this middle class house it was a real dumb house. It was all small, what a dump. He ate a plate of beans and some cabbage. I told him not to eat the food, but he did anyway. We rich people want everyone to think that we care. Hell, I will never know what it is like to not know where my next meal is coming from, or how I am going to pay the bills. Well, to make this story short he started farting uncontrollably and I barfed. That is when I rushed him to the hospital.

Meredeath Gloom: We are going to have to put a butt plug in, that is the only thing that we can do. Doctor Smartass will be your surgeon today. However, you will have to pay a ten thousand dollar tip.

Asslex Crass: I am going to do the operation. Me, I am the man for the job. I want the fame and fortune.

Diane the all knowing:  Do it. I just want the farting to stop. He has already burned a big hole in his undershorts.

Asslex Crass: Yes, I know.

Meredeath Gloom: We can’t put in a butt plug. That will surely cause his ass to go critical mass. The gas needs to be expelled from his rich freak ass slowly and naturally like the brisk sweet morning air.

Asslex Crass: There is no time for this, his butt may already be near critical mass.

Hosptial Manager: What is that nasty smell? It smells like SHIT!!!

Meredeath Gloom: It is one of our patients he is farting uncontrollably. His name is Anthon the great.

Hospital Manager: Anthon the great in my hospital. Make sure that his wife gets the upstairs town house and limo service to and from the hospital. Let me know when he stops farting, I want to meet him.

Asslex Crass: We need to insert a butt plug.

Dork Smartass: You have it all wrong we need to put him in the defart machine. He can afford it. It takes the fart away and makes the world a safer place.

Diane the all knowing: My husband is farting worse would you doctors please make up your minds. I need to rule the world and I can’t do it without his money.

Asslex Crass: OK. I am in agreement, but I get twenty percent of the tip. Let’s put him in the defart machine. That is my final diagnosis. Oh, the humanity.

They put Anthon the great in the fart machine. It is filmed in slow motion.  There is some intense Cheesy music playing in the background. The words to the song: I can’t stop the farting. I can’t stop the gas. My butt is near critical mass. My butt smells like beans and cabbage. There is no stopping me. There is no stopping me. I have never farted in my life. My life. My life.  The song repeats itself serveral times. Sweat is running down the doctors face. Then it is over. They walk out to the waiting room where is Diane the all knowing is waiting.  

Diane the all knowing: How is he?

Meredeath Gloom: He is resting the farting has stopped.

Asslex Crass: Diane the all knowing he will be ok!! The defart machine has stopped his assblasters.

Diane the all knowing: How can I stop this from happening again?

Meredeath Gloom: He needs to be on a fish egg and three hundred dollar bottled water diet.  He needs to stay away from common people’s food. He is a rich freak and he should eat like one.

Asslex Crass: It looks like he will be fine.

Meredeath Gloom: We did it again, another rich freak is safe. It seems that farts can infect even the rich. But, there is one thing about the rich— money can buy anything even health. If you are a rich freak like me and all the doctors on this show, and start farting  uncontrollably there is help for you. Rich people with gas is a very emotional moment.

Crusty Yank: ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dork Smartass: Give me some lovin Dr. Gloom (ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha)!!

Asslex Crass: Damn gas!!! (pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo) Excuse me.


Rich Freak Political Man and his adult sized inflatable love doll named Lusta the Magic. All he has to do is just inflate, and he has a thirty year old synthetic love freak.

17 06 2007

WARNING: Mature Post. Adult content. Adult langauge. Adult theme.  You must be twenty one years or older to read.

This is a story about a powerful rich freak that is above the law. He thinks he is perfect in every way, but he has several flaws and one of them is inflatable full size plastic adult love dolls. 

He takes his doll to dinner with him. He takes her to lunch and he leaves his plastic enhanced wife at home. He calls his love doll Lusta the Magic. You want to know why he calls her Lusta the Magic, because she gives him all the lovin that he needs, all he has to do is just inflate. She is always ready for action, she is always ready for more.  He dresses her in a nice dress by day, and at night dresses her in fishnet stockings with a matching bright red teddy.

He takes her on the plane, and he takes her on the train. He takes her while he is campaigning.  His wife is jealous of Lusta the Magic and his love for her. His wife she secretly plots Lusta the Magic’s demise, and with a pop of a pin her husbands love affair will be done.

When he is in meetings, when he is in the restroom Lusta the Magic is always there. His wife can never get him away from his plastic love affair. His wife feels that everyone is looking at Lusta the Magic more than her.

When he is in his hotel room on the campaign trail he forgets to call his wife, because he is playing his dirty little games. He takes Lusta to the hotel bar, and everyone thinks that he is insane. She looks thirty, but she is all hot air just like his speeches and his bullshit ways.

This is what his wife had to say:

Wife: I am sick and tired of him traveling with that damn latex rubber love doll. What does his doll have that I don’t? I should have never let him go to that adult video store.

Interviewer: Aren’t politicians supposed to be pure and without fault. Wouldn’t being in love with a plastic blow doll be a conflict of interest against his pure rich freak reputation? 

Wife: You damn right it is, and I have the pin to end the love affair. We rich people are so much better than everyone else; we don’t love plastic blow dolls. We turn our noses up at everyone and flaunt our money and social status around. I am always going to charity events, but I will never know what it is like to be poor. I will never know what it is like to know where my next meal is coming from; I just act like I care.

Interviewer: Isn’t it true that you bought a dildo named Mr smiles when he bought the plastic adult love doll?

Wife: Yes, it’s because he doesn’t want me anymore. I have to have some release, and it sure isn’t from his microscopic thing. That damn doll. I am going to have a nervous break down. I need my Prozac and my five thousand dollar an hour therapist. Can you believe that my husband asked me to do a threesome with that damn adult love doll and him!! 

Interviewer:  Well, did you do it?

Wife: Well, of course not. Where is my place in the love act? I always have to be the star in our bed. It is a piece of plastic for damn sakes; it could never be the star. You can’t have a threesome with a piece of plastic, it just isn’t natural. I can’t compete with a life size adult love doll. It looks thirty years old and I am fifity. I am so insecure.

Interviewer:  I hate to tell you this but Lusta the Magic is the star in his world.

Wife:  I am afraid that you’re wrong, I am the star. He is going to pop a hole in her and come running to me, or I will pop a hole in that inflatable tramp. Damn it!

Interviewer: He can use a tire patch and patch her up. There is no end to your demise. That is all the time we have for today.

As you can see ladies and gentleman Rich Freak Political man’s wife is mad. She can’t take that he is in love with a plastic inflatable love doll. What will become of Rich Freak Political man, well he will continue his sick political ways– rising taxes, tax breaks for the Rich Freaks, and big businesses. He will also continue to use tax payer’s money to fulfill his own needs and wants.  Wait, why don’t we interview Rich Freak Political man, and see what he has to say.

Interviewer:  Welcome Rich Freak Political man. How are you today? I see that you brought Lusta the Magic.

Rich Freak Political Man: Yes, I did. We are so much in love. Our love is as deep as the deepest ocean. She is my thirty year old inflatable love queen.

Interviewer: She is an inflatable love doll? You know that don’t you?

Rich Freak Political Man: Yes, I know, I just said that. She is my fantasy women! Look at her! I love her dress, and her see through panties, she is so choice. She travels everywhere with me, and she never complains.

Interviewer: Your wife is mad? She is really pissed off that you have been paying more attention to Lusta the magic.

Rich Freak Political Man: She can get over it. It is not like I am cheating on her or anything. Once you go plastic you will never go back.

Interviewer: Don’t you think that is a little to the extreme? Are you crazy?

Rich Freak Political man: No, hell no! Hey when you rip off the public like I do it is great to come home and have a partner like Lusta the Magic.  Well, I have to air her up every once in a while, but that is minor technicality. Here do you want to interview her?

Interviewer: OK? Hello Lusta the Magic how are you? 

Lusta the Magic: ….

Interviewer: She didn’t say anything, because she is a plastic love doll.

Rich Freak Political Man: I assure you she talks; you just have to press this button.

Political Man presses the button.

Lusta the Magic: Hello big man. Do you want some? I know that I do.

Political Man presses the button again.

Lusta the Magic: You are so big. I like it.

Rich Freak Political Man presses the button again.

Lusta the Magic: I want plastic sugery. I want a some money.

Rich Freak Political man presses the button again.

Lusta the Magic: You can stick it…

Interviewer: That is enough; this is a live show…

Rich Freak Political Man: Here she has something to tell you.

Lusta the Magic: I am thirty. Your wife is fifty. You need me. He, he, he!!

Interviewer: That is enough. I told you to stop it. This is nuts. She is an inflatable doll. You really are crazy.

Rich Freak Political Man: You are nuts. I assure you that Lusta the Magic and I are in love, and there is no stopping our passion.

Interviewer: That is what you say.

Rich Freak Political man: I must be going. I have the public to rip off, and there is money to be made. I am so rich.

Interviewer: Well, it goes to show that there is no stopping a rich freak and his inflatable love doll. What will ever become of Rich Freak Political man? Well, he will continue to run things business as usual. What will become of his wife; she well continue to envy his plastic lover. There is one thing that we know she will continue going to parties and calling celebrities for advice and gaining status, because that is what rich freaks do.


The Super Power Femmes: Edwin the asshole’s Empire Crumbles..

8 06 2007

Warning: Adult Language and Theme. 

Welcome to the first edition of the Super Power Femmes. In this episode The Super Power Femmes face their arch enemy Edwin the Asshole. Yes, ladies and gentleman Edwin the Asshole the biggest asshole known to humanity.

Edwin the Asshole: I am the most powerful Ass munch in the world. There is no stopping me and my asshole syndicate. We are the most selfish, inconsiderate, self-loving, bi-polar, bastards you will ever know.

Small Dick with big truck: Edwin the Asshole The Super Power Femmes caught Insecure Jerk, Macho Dork Drunk, and Temper Drunk at Muff’s Bar and Grill. They were taken to a top secret location, and are being interrogated at this very minute.

Edwin The Asshole: Those three super femmes will stop at nothing before they take out my syndicate. Ready my plane small dick with big truck. It’s party time for Shocka, Panda kiss, and Betty truth they don’t know what’s coming. 

 Meanwhile at the Super Power Femme’s Top secret base.

Shocka: Where is Edwin the Asshole’s top secret hide out, tell me now! He is such a coward, and is constantly moving it. Tell me you prissy prick, tell me now.

Insecure Jerk: I will never tell! I will never tell! I am sworn to uphold all the teachings of the asshole syndicate.

Shocka: I have a PHD and I am an independent woman that scares you doesn’t it? I can break your coconut balls into a million pieces if I want. You can either tell me, or face the alternative it’s your choice.

Insecure Jerk: No. I am sorry. I, OK! No, please don’t crack my balls they are the only two that I have, and without them I am nothing. You love my balls comparing them to coconuts, that means that you think they are big.

Shocka: Yeah, elephantiasis big.

Insecure Jerk: I don’t have elephantiasis, damn you Super Power Femmes.

Panda Kiss: You should be sterile anyway Insecure Jerk. You are a poor excuse for a man; your sperm is no good to anyone.

Insecure Jerk: What are you going to do about it panda kiss? Edwin the asshole will be here any minute. There is no stopping him, and his power trip. I am sorry; I didn’t mean to say that. I am just a jerk…an insecure Jerk.

Betty Truth: Edwin the asshole is an insecure bastard, he is the ultimate jerk. There is no other jerk that is greater. He needs to be captured before any other women are hurt by his asshole charm and his bastard ways.

Panda Kiss: How about I blow a nasty fart in your face Insecure Jerk, and then I crack your coconut balls like a plate of hard boiled eggs at Sunday breakfast.

Insecure Jerk: No, please. I beg of you. Don’t fart in my face. I can’t take it. I am an insecure jerk, and besides I am a man.

Shocka: Why don’t you show him your panties panda kiss I am sure he will find them real sexy. I am sure that he loves panties, but there will be a little surprise of great magnitude that will make him gag.

Panda Kiss: They have a big heart on the ass, and nothing in the front. They totally expose my shaved pussy. NOT!!

Temper Drunk: Don’t do it!! Haven’t you caused him enough pain? I am sorry; I was drunk when I said that. I am not really that man that you think I am. I just become a jerk when I start drinking, and that is all the time.

Shocka: Betty truth shut up Temper Drunk this instant.  His words mean nothing to me. His blabbering is bullshit.

Insecure Jerk: I am a man. I don’t deserve to have a fart blown in my face. I have money I can pay you all off beyond your wildest dreams. You will be the Super Power Rich Femmes.

Shocka: You can tell us were Edwin’s hide out is and not get farted on. Money means nothing to us you bastard.

Insecure Jerk: I will never tell!! I will never tell! Edwin is the king of jerks. The syndicate will come crashing down if I tell.

Shocka: That is why we want to catch him. Panda Kiss commence farting.

Panda Kiss: Yes, Shocka.

Temper Drunk: You can’t do that to Insecure jerk. He is a man, and we all know that men rule the world. You wouldn’t dare fart in his beautiful magnificent face.

Shocka: If more women ruled the world it would be a better place. The problem is the world is filled with men like you— jerks, assholes, liars, cheats, power hungry insecure men, controlling and dominating self Righteous pricks.

Temper Drunk drinks a vile of whisky.

Temper Drunk: Come on! I am filled up with alcohol and I am brave. I have super powers. Come my way and get some.

The scene is shot in slow motion. Panda kiss and Shocka kick Temper Drunk in the balls with full force causing his balls to crack and rupture.  Temper Drunk screams in pain, passes out, and barfs up his lunch. Betty Truth takes him to his room and locks the door.

Shocka: Use a hashed security code, so that only you can unlock the door.  Temper Drunk got what was coming to him a swift kick to the balls.  

Betty Truth: With pleasure.

Panda Kiss: You’re next Insecure Jerk.

Insecure Jerk: Ok. I will tell please don’t fart in my face. That is disrespectful after all I am a politician by profession. I always get my way, because I am rich.

Shocka: What you do to women is disrespectful. What all you jerks do to women is disrespectful. You should have a full mental examination and a license to date, marry, and be around women. Now, for the last time where is Edwin the asshole’s hideout?  

Insecure Jerk: He is on his way. There is no stopping him, he will free me. He will be here. Damn you Super Power Femmes.

Shocka: Fart in his face…Panda Kiss. NOW!

Panda Kiss: Yes, mistress Shocka. (poooooooooooooooo, oooo, ooooooo!) (ssssssssssssss) (poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!) (SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!)

Insecure Jerk: No…I am going to barf! It is so disgusting. What did you eat? I am going to throw up the fish eggs and fine wine that had earlier today. I can’t help it I am going to(BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFF!) He is hiding out at the Macho Steak house and Grill in the basement in the city. I need a shower.

Panda Kiss:  You will not get a shower until Edwin the Asshole is captured. Take him to his room and lock the door!

Betty Truth: There is a jet that has just entered our airspace.

Shocka: Edwin!!!

Meanwhile in Temper Drunks holding cell.

Temper Drunk: I knew you would come for me master. I did your bidding…Edwin. Master. Master. I did all that you wanted me to, I didn’t tell anyone about the syndicate. It was Insecure jerk, because they farted in his face, and kicked me in the balls. I did your bidding. My balls are hurt really badly, they are crushed.   

Smoke appears it is Edwin.

Edwin the Asshole: I know you did my bidding. But, you failed me. You got caught.

Temper Drunk: But, master. I did everything that you wanted me to; I found the Super Power Femme’s hideout.

Edwin the Asshole: You got your balls crushed by the Super Power Femmes, and the super power femmes caught you.

Temper Drunk: What are you going to do?

Edwin The asshole: I am going to give you one more chance. You have been such an asshole for years, and good help is so easy to find because there are so many assholes in this world, but I like you.

Temper Drunk: How did you do the smoke thing?

Edwin the asshole: I am a hologram, you fool. I got it out of a box of cereal. My cereal Asshole Crunch.

Temper Drunk: You bought some Asshole Crunch cereal. I want some! It brings out the asshole in every jerk.

Edwin the Asshole: Not until you complete this mission. If complete this mission you will get your stalking badge and your phone ripper out of the wall badge.

Shocka Opens Temper Drunk’s Cell.

Shocka: How do your balls feel?

Temper Drunk: They feel like a million dollars. I just talked to Edwin the Asshole and he is on his way to defeat you and your femmes. He will be the biggest asshole in the world after your defeat of course.

Shocka: You are sadly mistaken. He is nothing but a coward. Having you do his dirty work. 

Temper Drunk: He promised me some asshole crunch cereal if I do his bidding, and that is what I am going to do….his bidding.

Shocka: Not so fast Temper Drunk!

Temper Drunk runs at Shocka, and guess what she does? She kicks him in the balls again with her super sonic kick. He falls to the floor and waves a white flag.

Temper Drunk: Mercy mistress!!! Mercy!!! I give up. I give up.

Shocka: That was the wise thing to do. Now, Shut up or you will be kicked in the balls again.

Temper Drunk: look at my balls they look like they have been cracked. I will never be able to breed again.

Shocka: you have no business breeding, you jerk.

Temper Drunk: You have no right to tell me that.

Edwin the asshole appears in the room.

Edwin the Asshole: I am here to stop you. You freaking Fem lover.

Shocka: You are nothing like I pictured you. You are a middle aged man, and you are balding. How can I fight you, I am not sure if I should laugh or cry at your pettiness.  

Edwin the asshole: Why are you telling me this, I am a man. I want to take you out for lunch so you won’t think I am such an animal.

Shocka: You are fucking nut job. You are worthless.

Edwin the asshole: No I am not. I am on poor me medication. I am going to take you out, and I don’t mean to lunch. You haven’t seen the last of me.

Shocka: Yes, I have. Panda Kiss and Betty True Come out here. I got our prisoner. He isn’t dangerous. He’s a coward of a mental proportion.

Edwin the asshole: I know I have pulled the phone out of the wall. I know that I have cheated. I know that I have mentally hurt my past lovers, but I have changed. You will see.

Shocka: No, you haven’t. Men like you will never change there is no hope for you. I am going to have to take you in; you need to get what is coming to you. You cry on the phone, you stalk people and that to me constitutes imprisonment.

Edwin the Asshole: No, you will never get me. He, he, he! 

Shocka: Yes…we will, and with one swift kick to the balls.

Panda Kiss: The world is free from Edwin the asshole.

Shocka: Yes, it is…

Edwin the Asshole: No…damn you super power femms, damn you!

The Super Power Femms kick Edwin in the balls and he falls. They capture him and his gang of assholes and take them to where they can never hurt anyone again.


Here is the deal if you or someone you know are in an abusive realtionship find them help or get out of it. There are people in your community that can help. Life is too short to live in a state of fear. There are assholes everywhere so be safe.