Gray’s Colostomy: Plastic lust Emergency…

Warning: Adult Content. Adult theme. Adult material.  Adult Language. Mature content.

Characters in this episode:

Meredeath Gloom.
Dork Smartass.
Asslex Crass.
Crusty Yank.
Mr. Sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder.
Mr. Sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder’s wife: Diane.  

Intro: Meredeath Gloom: There comes a time when plastic is everything, and then love and hope go down the drain.  

Meredeath Gloom: Where the fuck is Dork Smart-ass? I need to talk to him. He threw up in my bed last night after eating my edible panties. I had been wearing them for two days.  They were cherry flavored. Then he didn’t want to get me off, and left the apartment.

Crusty Yank: Don’t get your “panties” in a wad. He is in the lab whacking off to some skank’s picture…that I am sure he wants to bang.

Meredeath Gloom: Why that asshole. He better be spanking his lust pole off to my picture of beauty, and not some bitch-ass-tramp.

Crusty Yank: I am sure it is not a picture of you. It is probably some skank that he wants to “do” in the restroom…or something.

Meredeath Gloom: I am going to the lab, and giving him a piece of my mind. That fucking asshole. He told me he wouldn’t bang anyone else but me…and after he barfed in my bed last night he refused to get me off and he thinks he can get himself off in the lab. He has another thing coming.

 Crusty Yank: Well, banging is his middle name…he wanted to do Mandy from the Farting College women.

Meredeath Gloom: Don’t you ever mention that event again…Crusty Yank. Mandy is my arch enemy! I am going to get you Mandy, and your farting friends too. (he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, wooo, ha, ha, ha!!!!)

Crusty Yank: Let it go…bitch!

Meredeath Gloom: No, you let it go!

Crusty Yank: No, you let it go!

Intercom announcer: Doctor Gloom, Dr. Smart-ass, Doctor Crass please report to the emergency room stat. It is a code red…code red.

Meredeath Gloom: I am off to the emergency room. I will see you later…bitch.

Crusty Yank: Whatever…bitch!

Meredeath Gloom goes to the emergency room in slow motion with cheesy music in the background.  The music is about some person whining about their bad poor me life.

Meredeath Gloom: What happened? What the fuck this is not a patient, this is an adult plastic blowup doll.

Paramedic: Yeah, I know. That is what I told Mr. Sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder. I told him to go to an adult book store or porn shop and buy another one. He is convinced that it is alive. He calls it Lusta the Magic.

Meredeath Gloom: Is this guy insane?

Paramedic: He is some rich freak Congressman…in other words he thinks his shit doesn’t stink. I couldn’t refuse him…he had insurance.  He has a lot of money. Here you talk to him.

Meredeath Gloom:Hello, Mr. sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder I am the attending doctor. Don’t you know that the patient that you want me to admit is an adult blow doll made of plastic and vinyl. You can get another one at an adult book store where porn accessories are sold.

Mr. Sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder: No, it is not just another piece of plastic. It is the love of my life…damn you…can’t you see.

Meredeath Gloom: What happened…the love doll looks deflated.

Mr. Sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder: It certainly does. My wife did it. She took a needle and popped it. She was jealous of Lusta the magic, and made her go pop. I am so upset. Love is the only thing that Lusta the magic and I have.

Meredeath Gloom: Stop with all the love stuff, and get to the point man.  

Mr. Sell out to the highest bidder: OK, let me get myself together. I had just got home from ripping off the public, and was blowing Lusta the magic up to have a romantic evening just Lusta and me. I thought my wife was doing “Charity” work, pretending like she “cares”. I was putting a red teddy on Lusta the magic when…

Diane: I got home, and got a pin out of the my sewing kit, and popped his fuck doll. He can’t fuck that plastic bitch anymore. That blow doll comes complete with vibrating pussy, as long as you have six AAA batteries. What about my pussy, and what about my needs? I don’t need six AAA batteries.

Mr. sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder: Diane, what are you doing here?

Diane: I am here to stop you from patching up your fuck doll, so you can’t blow it up and fuck it all night. Did you know that blow doll talks…

Asslex Crass: No, I didn’t. I haven’t ever bought a plastic blow doll…I am not that desperate.

Diane: Well, it does. Do you know what it says?

Mr. Sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder: Diane don’t. It will only bring back memories, of love gone by.

Diane: Here let me press this button.

Mr. Sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder: No, Diane it is too painful.

Diane presses the try me button on Lusta the Magic. Mr. Sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder starts crying. Sounds come from the doll deflated: I like your cock. That is it…fuck that pussy. I have been wanting you for a long time. You are so long. I am so horny. I want to fuck you day and night. Oh…yes. You are so big. Oh you are so good. I will be the love of your life. Who needs Rosie Palmer when you have me. How do you like my pulsating pussy! You love that action…don’t you bastard.

Diane: I can’t compete what that…that plastic tramp.

Asslex Crass: What the fuck…now I have seen it all. You are insecure about a fuck doll.

Diane: I have a lot to compete with…that fuck doll has done nothing but cause problems.

Asslex Crass: Get a hold of yourself woman. It is a piece of plastic. It is just a fuck doll that you can buy at an adult book store.

Meredeath Gloom: Take the fuck doll to the ER, and get a tire repair kit. I will do the operation.

Diane: You will not do the operation. I won’t allow it.

Sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder: Diane would you please leave. This is not your business.

Meredeath Gloom: If you don’t leave I will call security.

Diane: Why…I am trying to save my marriage. How would you like to have a husband like him. I want him, but all he wants is that love doll! You haven’t heard the last of me; I will be back.

Asslex Crass: Don’t let the door smack your ass on the way out.

Sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder: Can you re-inflate Lusta the Magic?

Meredeath Gloom: We will do all that we can…we are professionals.

Sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder:Thank you. Oh, thank you!  I will see that you get doctor of the year, and that your ego gets the attention that it deserves.

Asslex Crass: Are you for real? You are in love with a fuck doll…a piece of plastic.

Mr. Sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder: Yes, and I will give you all the money and power that you want.

Asslex Crass: I am at your service.  I only went into medicine for the money, the women, and the power. I love knowing that people think my crap doesn’t stink.

Mr. Sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder: Me too. Me too.

Meredeath Gloom: We will patch your adult blowup doll for you…Mr Sell out.

The doctors rush the deflated adult love doll to the emergency room. The doctors push the stretcher in slow motion. There is cheesy music playing in the back ground. It is music about a guy who crapped his pants, and wants the whole world to know about it.

Meredeath Gloom: Nurse did you get the tire repair kit?

Nurse: Yes, I did. It is a state of the art. It has a rubber sheet that I can make several patches from, and rubber cement that doesn’t smell.

Dork Smartass runs in the ER.

Dork Smartass: What the fuck are you doing? Operating on a blowup doll without my expertise and permission. You are way out of line Meredeath.

Meredeath Gloom: I am out of line? I think spanking your lust poll in the lab is way out of line?

Dork Smartass: How did you find out about that? That is my business. I was spanking off to a picture of beauty.

Meredeath Gloom: Whose picture was it Dork?

Dork Smartass: Not yours.

Meredeath Gloom: I hate you!

Asslex Crass: Would you two shut the fuck up! We have a fuck doll to fix! There is a big hole in the Seam. It looks like someone used a pin…or something to pop it.

Dork Smartass: You think!

Asslex Crass: I am not going to take your fucking ego today…Dork.

Meredeath Gloom: Ego…my ass! Insecurity is more like it!

Dork Smartass: Why you…I am out of here.

Asslex Crass: Good, and don’t come back.

Meredeath Gloom: Yeah, you bastard for hell.

They start patching the hole in Lusta the Magic.

Meredeath Gloom: Nurse cut me a small patch, and give me a dab of rubber cement.

Nurse: Yes, Doctor Gloom. I am cutting out the patches now, and opening the tube of rubber cement.

The nurse cuts out a small patch from the rubber sheet, and hands it to doctor gloom. Sweat is running down Doctor Gloom’s face, the nurse wipes it off. She is under Stress.  

Meredeath Gloom: Hand me a dab of rubber cement.

Nurse: Yes, doctor gloom.

Doctor Gloom rubs rubber cement over the rip, and applies the patch. The patch sticks.

Meredeath Gloom: I am rubbing on the cement now…and now I am applying the patch. It looks like the patch stuck. Nurse hand me a blow drier.

The sound of the blow drier fills the room. BUZZZZZZZZZZZ! BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Meredeath Gloom: How long do we wait?

Nurse: It says twenty minutes.

Asslex Crass: I can’t wait twenty minutes, Mr. Sell out offered me fame and fortune. We have to do this fast.

Meredeath Gloom: I did the operation and you just watched, I want the credit for patching his fuck doll.

Asslex Crass: I want credit! I want credit! I am a doctor of talent.

Meredeath Gloom: Whatever…asshole!

Twenty Minutes pass by…

Nurse: It has been twenty minutes.

Meredeath Gloom: Get the air compressor…nurse.

The nurse gets the air compressor and turns it on.

Meredeath: I am opening the blow valve now. It is inflating. It’s alive! It’s alive!

Asslex Crass: I am taking credit for this.

Meredeath Gloom: Nurse, take the fuck doll to recovery, and let Mr. Sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder know that the operation was a complete success! Yes, it is another job well done by me…Meredeath Gloom. I save lives…for a price!!! He is going to pay me ten thousand dollars for this operation.

Nurse: Don’t you think that is a little steep? All you did was put a patch over a hole and blow it up with an Air-compressor.

Meredeath Gloom: Shut the fuck up nurse, before I fire you. I am a doctor and I deserve millions and million of dollars, and if you don’t like it you can get the fuck out (He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he…woo…haaaaaaaa).

Nurse: You are such a bitch!

Meredeath Gloom: You damn right I am!

Meredeath Gloom walks into the waiting room to talk to Mr. Sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder. She tells him that the operation was a complete success.

Meredeath Gloom: Well, Mr. Sell out your fuck doll is doing to be fine. It is holding air.

Mr. Sell-out-to-the-highest-bidder: Thank you..oh thank you! When can I take it home?

Meredeath Gloom: You can take it now, but first here is your bill.

Mr. Sell-out-t0-the-highest-bidder: Ten thousand dollars? Oh, well I will just use tax payers money. Here is the account number…and I don’t have to pay a cent. I am a politican and I am above the law! (he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he)

Meredeath Gloom: That will be fine, as long as you pay me…he, he, he, he, he, wooo Ha!!!

Asslex Crass: He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he!

Dork Smartass: What did I miss! Oh, well he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he!!!!

Crusty Yank: What is going on in here! Whatever!

FIN