The Memoirs of a Fart Dominatrix…the first ten days! (part 3 of 10)

WARNING: ADULT MATERIAL. ADULT CONTENT. MATURE THEME. 

After I got kicked out of the rich freaks house for farting.  I called for a taxi on my cell phone. The taxi was there in five minutes, and as I was leaving the house I saw people running out. They were coughing and some were barfing. The smell that I had released out of my ass had left a lasting impression.  It was the first big party I had gone to at a rich freaks house, and it would probably be my last.

You see the rich are funny they pretend to sympathise with those that are less fortunate than them. They are fake.  This is the case with the rich freak…she wanted her husband to win the election, but she didn’t want real homeless people in her house. You see it is one thing to talk about helping the poor and homeless to get votes, but actually helping the homeless and poor is another thing. You see she loves the power of knowing that she is better than everyone else, and with her husband winning the election…well, she would be on top. 

You see most rich people have no idea what it is like to be poor.  Thus, it is the same for politicians—they don’t give a shit about the poor. I would like to see a non rich person run for office—fat chance that would ever happen. Most of the people that get into office are rich to begin with, so all they do is help themselves and those like them. Leaving the middle class and the lower classes holding the bill. Well, should I say mostly middle class holding the bill.

The taxi cab driver asked me “where to”? I told her to downtown. She drove me downtown, and let me out in front of this coffee shop called “coffee and Venus” it is the only adult coffee (no one under twenty permitted) shop where customers are allowed to drink their coffee in the nude. I am freak! I just love their espresso!

I sat at a table waiting for my espresso and reading book on socialism, that I had picked up at a small bookstore downtown.  A woman with a beautiful body and smile brought me my warm drink. She had a sadness about her. She asked me if I needed anything else. I said no! I asked her, her name. She said her name was Olivia. Nice, to meet you, I said.  She turned around and went back to the bar!

I thanked her and then went back to my reading. I was mid-way through my cup of espresso when a man came in and grabbed Olivia by the hand and took her outside. I felt obligated to find out why the guy came inside and took her outside in such a forceful manner. The other employees looked worried, the guy at the espresso bar grabbed for the phone. I got up and asked what was wrong? The guy at the bar told me that her stalker ex-boyfriend was bothering her again, and the she had a restraining order against him but that didn’t stop him. He almost put her in the hospital one time.

You see there are men that can’t take a hint. They are bastards, and when they are down on their luck they come looking for their ex-partner. These sick fucks have to have love, and  control. Inside they are nothing but insecure bastards!

I walked outside and saw that he had pushed Olivia to the street and kicked her and went to hit her. I stopped his fist from striking her with my hand. He called me a bitch, and told me to get lost. I told him that he wasn’t supposed to hit women, and that he wasn’t brought up right. I told Olivia to go back inside and call the authorities. She got up and went inside.

He took a swing at me. I just grabbed his wrist and twisted it! He screamed in pain and told me to leave him alone. He couldn’t take it. He started crying, I pushed his ass to street. Everyone in the street saw him crying. He begged me not to hit him. He was balled up in a little ball. He quivered with fear. I asked him how that felt, he just whimpered.

There he was in the street crying like the little asshole that he was. I told him that was the last time that he would ever talk to Olivia again. And if he came around or even bothered her again he would face serious pain. . He called me a freak and got to his feet. He got in his car and drove away.

I went back inside to see if Olivia was OK. She was fine just a little shook up. I drank the rest of my espresso, and was just about to leave when the guy came back. This time he had his friends with him. He walked to my table and told me to get up. I ignored him, and kept reading. This of course made him mad. His friends laughed at him. That made him more mad, because he is one of those insecure types. He grabbed my wrist and pulled, that was it I had enough. I told him to come closer. I pulled down my pants and I farted in his face…the fart went on and on, and it was a little wet. He got chucks of crap in his face. Everyone in the coffee shop laughed at him. He got up and ran out and was never seen again.

I tipped Olivia and paid for my drink and left. The employees at the coffee shop thanked me as I walked out the door.

FIN

The farting college women: Beths breakup…short.

WARNING: ADULT MATERIAL. ADULT CONTENT. ADULT THEME. 

Beth sticks her ass in his face and lets a fart go without disgrace.
He asks why must you fart this way?  (He gags from the smell).

Farting is my game cries Beth.
He wipes his eyes, and says what a bad game!
Yes, she cried. It is a bad game.

I don’t desire you, cried Beth.
He asks her why not.
She replies I feel nothing for you, therefore we don’t exist as a couple anymore.

Who are you going to love?
I will love not you,
I will love her.I am through with lust poles.
I am through with the drama from you and all the baggage that you conceal.
Therefore we are no more.They go their separate ways…never to be again!

FIN

The Farting College women: Beth’s advice…oh yeah!

Warning: Adult Material. Adult Content. Mature Content.  

Sandy: 

Oh, why has Beth taken me from him?
Why must love go astray.
Oh, sweet passion were are you?

I wanted him.
I felt he was the one deep inside of my spherical existence.
There is no…him and there is no love.

Beth:

You were better off without him Fair Maiden Sandy.
He led you astray,
all he wanted was your melons…OK.

Sandy:

My melons?
How dare you say such things are you a friend or foe?
All he wanted was a cup of tea and to walk hand-in-hand through the park of dreams and emotions.

Beth:

A cup of tea…my ass?
The park…ha!
A cup of lust with extra cream is more like it, and
let me tell you his cream doesn’t come from cows!
All he wanted was your lust hole…and maybe your bumhole,
and not exactly in that order!

Sandy:

Are you saying he wanted me for  one thing?
He wanted to have “relations” with me?
That is prosperous.

Beth:

What planet are you from?

Sandy: 

I am very mad at you…Beth.
Look at his e-I am true are you account?
Look at the words that he wrote…he is a poet.

His account:

I need someone to complete me. I need a better half, because right now I am only half whole. I need to find the woman of my dreams…could you be that woman? I am a man of loneliness and desperation. I am a man that makes the world sing, streams flow, and the stars shine! I am a man of dreams and pleasure. Dreams and pleasure. I am crying tears now. Oh, please come and save me!

Beth:

Very touching lines,
it is lies all lies.
He is a poet in many women’s eyes.
Have you ever wondered why he is on the site? I mean look at his words of desperation, if he is all those things that he says he is, then why isn’t he with someone? That is the question to ponder.

Sandy:

Oh, why must you make me feel this way?
Oh, must I deal with these feelings of pain and pleasure.
Oh, the humanity.

Beth:

Drop the drama queen act.
Let’s go watch a movie.

Sandy:

OK!

FIN

Note: To find out what these characters are talking about. See the Farting women: The adventure at the lust package (the trilogy).

The Memoirs of a Fart Dominatrix…the first ten days! (part 2 of 10)

WARNING: ADULT CONTENT. ADULT MATERIAL. ADULT THEME. 

Day 2: After leaving the club at three in the morning, I felt tired. I went home and slept through most of the next day. I got up and ate some fiber. It would give me gas, and that is exactly what I wanted.  Then I went out, being a fart dominatrix is hard sometimes to exist among the “normal” people.

As I walked downtown the sidewalk was filled with passersby. Today I wore normal clothes—cargo pants and  my “don’t worry the world is an illusion” tee shirt. I passed a couple of people yelling about their organization. They had huge signs up that said, “you all are sinners we have the cure”.  What are they trying to cure, I thought? I feel fine!  

They walked up to me and taunted me calling me a sinner. They told me to come to their meeting tonight, and that if I didn’t I wouldn’t be saved. Who are they to say who is going to be saved, and who is not. Humans, always trying to make themselves into (false) prophets. I am sure the first thing they do at their meeting is pass the money tray around, after they have told you that you are going to burn, so that you will come back next time and give them some more money in their little tray.

 These two got everyone’s attention on the street, and tried to make an example of me. Well, what they were saying didn’t embarrass me or bother me. It just distanced me more from humanity. There are some people that need to harass others to make themselves look good, and they somehow think that by tauting and embarrassing others excuses them from their own “sins”.

One of the people that tauted me got in my face. His breath smelled like crap, which reflected the crap that was coming out of his mouth. As he yelled I kept walking.  I let them have their say, and then I walked away. I walked down the street a little further. There was a guy selling yard sale crap, he asked me if I wanted to buy something. I refused…and he flipped me off and called me a bitch.

You see we live in a me, me, me, society filled with people who can’t take responsibility for their own actions, and people that want revenge. Because, in today’s society it is always someone elses fault. Our own leaders can’t take reposiblity for their own actions. It is a fucked up world.

I decided to go into a store. I wanted to buy something for my friend who was feeling down. I bought the gift and as I was paying for it there were a couple of ladies laughing at me. They were calling me names under their breath—they didn’t like what I was wearing, because in today’s world it is all about the material things.  I just ignored them. Let them have their laugh  I said, and then let them go back to their debt infested existance.

I ate dinner at a small resturaunt called “The Fly” I had a steak sandwich with fries, and a beer to wash it down. I was just about to finish my dinner when a couple of ladies came over to me. They sat down, and I tried to ignore them. They invited me to a dinner party at six pm. I couldn’t figure out why they would ask someone like me. I didn’t know them, and I sure the hell wouldn’t associate with people like those two. They looked like they had corncobs up their asses.

Then the lust hit me. I had to fart on someone, so I told them that I would be there. They said good. So I went back to my place and got ready. Then at five thirty,  I took a taxi to the address they had given me. It was a huge house on the rich freak side of town. I double checked to make sure that the address was correct, and it was. I paid the taxi cab driver and she wished me luck. I said thanks. I stood there on the street and watched her drive away. I thought to myself this is my last chance to run.

I walked up the big steps and knocked on the front door. One of the ladies that had invited me let me in. I found out that she was a political freaks wife, and she was doing charity work to make him look good. She asked me to come in, and I accepted. She told me she was doing a dinner for all the homeless people in the city and she thought that I was homeless when she asked me. I told her that I wasn’t.

She got pissed off and told me to act like I was homeless, and that this dinner party was to get her husband votes. She took me in one of the back rooms and had her staff makeup artist make me look homeless. I went along with the game, because tonight I was going to fart so big and proud on national TV at this rich freak home.

There were hundreds of people there as I walked out from getting my makeup done. There were TV crews, and all kinds of media personalities.  I found a place at the table. I sat next to a man. He asked if I was homeless and I said no. He told me that he was an actor. He said this function was to make people think that the candidate running for office cared about poor people. He told me that half the people in here were just actors, and I was one of the five people that they got off the street.

The candidates wife came up and gave a speech! I am a compassionate human being, and tonight I let everyone eat, she said. You see my husband knows what it is like to be poor. He has read the statics and it is not easy being poor. This party shows you all that he does know what it is like to be poor. I felt the gas inside my ass reaching terminal velocity. I couldn’t hold it any more.

I would throw my fart like a person throws their voice. I let the fart go. The fart went something like this: poooooooooooooooo! oooooooo! shhhhhhhhh! People started to look around. She stopped in mid speech and asked the people who farted. No, one said anything. Everyone started to smell the nasty fart that I had just released, and everyone ran out the door…a couple of people barfed including the candidates wife.  

Well, in a few weeks the votes were in, and well the candidate lost. It was found out after some research that canidates wife had hired actors to play homeless because she didn’t like “dirty people” in her house. The actors were hired with tax payers money. You see rich freaks are fake on the outside, and two faced on the inside.  That is all for this day.

FIN

The Memoirs of a Fart Dominatrix…the first ten days! (part 1 of 10)

WARNING: ADULT MATERIAL. ADULT CONTENT. MATURE CONTENT.  

What have I become? I have become a creature so vile, so twisted, so hideous. I walk the world lusting to blow off huge farts on people that desire me…oh the humanity of it!

Day 1: I walked downtown all dressed up and all alone. A person like me should be with someone, but I am not a mortal and don’t need such trivial things like “love” and “desire”.  It was a cold winters night.  I stopped and ate at a small cafe downtown. I had an extra helping of beans, legumes, and a beer to wash it down. The farts grow deep inside of me—inside a lust was building that I couldn’t contain. I felt it was now or never, I needed someone to fart on. I met this guy at the cafe. He said his name was Edwin.  

He wanted to get to know me. He said that he had been hurt by a woman named Mandy. He said they were meant to be and then he started crying.  I didn’t desire him, I didn’t sympathize with him, the asshole probably deserved to get hurt.  But the lust was building in me, taunting me, caressing me like a lover to pass the gas from my ass.

We talked for some time. He hinted over and over that he wanted to go to my place. He said that he wanted to see my tattoos. I told him I had a big tattoo on my ass, and one near my pussy. He said that turned him on.  He liked my dark eye shadow, and black finger nail polish and jet black hair. He asked me if we could go back to my place and dress in leather and role play for awhile. I wasn’t interested. I said NO!

 I avoided him emotionally, I avoided getting any closer to him than I had to. I became bored with him. He went on an on about himself. He never let me get two words in. I decided to get up and leave. He begged me not to go…with huge tears of selfishness in his eyes. I insisted that I leave this instant. He demanded that he wasn’t going to let me go, so I asked him what he wanted. He said he wanted pleasure. He said we could do it out back.

I gladly said no! I mean what kind of asshole, asks for pleasure after an hour. Who does he think that I am? Well, he excused himself to the restroom, he said he had to go pee. I am sure that he is the type of guy that doesn’t wash after using the toilet. I slipped out the front as he went to the restroom. I thought to myself I would be a  block away before he even knew that I was gone.

The city sounded alive as I walked toward one of my favorite clubs the music was just right there. I was in the mood for some dance music that makes me groove. I entered the club, and  I paid the cover charge.  I walked in and went to the bar for a drink, I had to get out on to the dance floor very soon.

Ten minutes after I had been there Edwin came in, he had followed me from the cafe. Fucking stalker type, insecure fuckers. I was dancing out on the floor when he found me. He was mad, and told me to leave with him now. I said no! He told me that I was his, and we were in love. This guy is a nut, I had only known him for about an hour, and he was already saying that we were in love.

I decided that I would fart on him in the middle of the dance floor. I asked him to dance we got out on the dance floor and I pulled up my dress exposing my beautful body.  We both were dancing and I told him to move closer to my ass. He did, and as I was dancing I farted in his face. The problem with this fart was that it was wet, and some of the wetness stuck on his face. Everyone in the club laughed, and Edwin just walked out of the club not saying a word. I spent the rest of the evening dancing.

Fin of day 1.

The Farting College women: The adventure at the lust package part 3! The End of a Trilogy!

Warning: Adult content. Adult Material. Adult theme. Adult Language!

In our last episode Mark GreenBill tried to seduce Sandy. Mandy and Beth had to come to her rescue. Then Mark got farted on, and Sandy is still under his spell. Will, the women break the spell or will Sandy be lost forever, find out in the conclusion of The farting college women: the adventure at the the lust package!

Sandy: How could you do that to Mark. All he wanted to do is love me. Love, it is what I have always wanted. We were going to have ice cream and punch in his room of love. Then he was going to show me his stamp collection.

Mandy: You are so naive Sandy, he was going to show you more than that. Stamp collection my ass, little package is more like it.

Beth: You need to snap out of it Sandy. Mark was trying to seduce you. I don’t think you are ready for that kind of seduction.

Sandy: I hate you Beth. I am twenty five years old. You and Mandy are bitches!

Beth: That is right I am a bitch, but I am your friend and friends help friends out!

Mandy: Hold on I have a call. Hello, yeah whatever, you  ass! Goodbye!

Sandy: Who was it?

Mandy: It was Edwin crying on the phone again. That bastard still thinks our love was meant to last, I think he was drunk or something. He says that  I am the woman of his dreams, can you believe that shit. He is crazy…some people have to have love.

Beth: Fuck him, I have just about had it with sperm  chuckers.

Sandy: I am going to my man!

Beth: No, you can’t!

Sandy: Yes, I can you bitch, and no one can stop me!

Sandy goes to Marks house. That is when she finds him with another women! Sandy walks into Mark’s house and goes to his bedroom and finds him…well you know!

Sandy: I am here my love! I want to give you all of me!

Sounds from Mark’s room: Oh, yes that feels so good. Ah! I love your body oh yeah! Give it to me. Oh, Mark you are so smooth! I know I am…ah!

Sandy: What are you doing Mark?

Mark: What does it look like I am doing? I am with another women! We are lust dancing, OK!

Other Women: Yeah, we are doing the tango of lust, and what are you going to do about it!

Sandy: I don’t know, but I will think of something! What am I doing here? Where am I?

Mark GreenBill: You are at my apartment Sandy! You are welcome to join us? There is plenty of room for one more! But, first you must shave your muff in the shape of a triangle and really short.

Sandy: OK! (shyly)

Sandy Takes off her clothes and jumps into bed with the other women and Mark. But, she has no plans of doing it! In all her sorrow she went on an eating binge and is now sporting some gas in her beautiful feminine ass!

The other women: You have such a beautiful body, but way to much pubic hair. And anyone that is anyone shaves, so march right into the bathroom and shave.

Mark Greenbill: If she wants to keep her hair that is fine. I am just a horney bastard right now!

Sandy: Why don’t you kiss my ass, it turns me on other women!

Other Women: Oh, I want to I am so turned on now! Oh, mark Kiss my butt while I am kissing hers!

Mark GreenBill: Oh, yeah my mistress I shall drink of your sweet ass of pleasure! My tongue lusts to taste it’s sweetness! mmmmmmm! (kiss) (kiss)

Sandy put her plan into action. She thought what Beth would do. Then she felt a big fart brewing in her ass! I was so big that it hurt! She waited for the right moment…then released the gas from her ass!

The other woman: Mmmm! Sandy your butt is sooooo nice! There is not a single pimple on it!

Sandy:  Yes, well I take care of my butt! You aren’t going to think that much longer!

Mark GreenBill: It is trap she is going to fart on us!

Mark runs for cover! The other woman stays with Sandy!

The other woman: mmmmmmmmmmmm! mmmmm! (kiss) (kiss) (kiss) (kiss)

Sandy: Are you ready for a big surprise?

The other women: Yes, I am ready my love!

Sandy: OK…here it goes!

Sandy’s ass:poooooooooooooooooo! ooooooooooooooooooooooo! ooooooooooooo! shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! lalalalala!

The other women: Oh, I think I am going to be sick! Oh, shit I got a piece of corn stuck in my teeth!

Sandy: That ain’t corn that was an almond!

The other woman: How dare you fart on me! How dare you break wind in my presents! I am royalty! I am going to barf the smell is just sick! (Barf) (Barf)

Mark Greenbill: Are you OK lover?

The other women: I want to go home! I am out of here!

Mark GreenBill: You can’t! I need hardcore loving…tonight!

The other woman: You can use your hand! My plastic surgery is melting! Look at me! Her fart ruined my whole complexion! I am going to have to go see my plastic surgeon tomorrow…thanks to that tramp!

Mark Greenbill: Look what you did Sandy! I am breaking up with you!

Sandy: Good, we were already broken up the minute I walked in here and found you with…her.

Mark GreenBill: You don’t mean that! I thought we had something! Please, don’t leave me alone! I can’t stand to be alone! I need love! Love, I need love (crying). Please I beg of you!

Sandy: Goodbye bastard. Goodbye!

Sandy leaves Mark’s house and goes back home. She takes Beth and Mandy out to dinner and they have a ladies evening. You may ask what happened to Mark…he is still calling Sandy crying drunk off his ass! The other woman got her face fixed and lives in another country! Until that next time…stay tuned for another amazing episode of the farting college women!

FIN!

The fart dominatrix: Lust hunting…

WARNING: ADULT MATERIAL. ADULT CONTENT. MATURE CONTENT. ADULT LANGUAGE. 

What is a fart Dominatrix? It is someone that lusts for farting on other people. They walk among people of the night not lusting for love or emotion, but for someone willing to give them the gift of fart letting.

On a dark night a woman walks from bar to bar in search of a man to fart upon. She hungers for the lust and pleasure of expelling gas on his smug face. Just hours before she ate a whole bunch of cabbage and beans. The gas in her bubbles with power.

She walks into a bar and looks around. The men in the room all gather around her. They like her tight fitting blouse and her rose red lipstick. Her hair is dark and her eyes are a steamy grey color. She talks to all the men carefully selecting one to unleash her magic on.

Then she meets Greg. She strikes up a conversation with him. He is an asshole that acts like he cares. He will do she thought. He will be the one that I let a huge fat fart upon.

They go to her room that she had rented above the bar. He thought that he was going to get lucky. He thought she was easy as pie on summer afternoon in July. Well, he was wrong and this is what happened after they got to her room.

Star freak: Do you like my room? Come to the couch and sit awhile. I am going to freshen up. Isn’t this great…you being the perfect stranger—tall dark and “handsome”.

Greg: Yes, Star Freak…your room is a skanky hotel room, are you a skank. I think so, You shall drink of my lust tonight. Go and shave your pussy in the shape of cat. I want to give your pussy some milk. I am so smooth.

Star Freak: Don’t be silly Greg I would never shave my pussy for you or any other man. I will be right back.

Greg: You have hurt thy feelings. You are such a bitch! I always get my way.

Star Freak: This night you shall not get your way. This night you shall be submissive to my every way.

Greg: We will see about that.

Star Freak goes in the restroom to get changed. She puts on her black leather sex suit and fishnet stalkings. She slowly struts out of the restroom. Greg is already naked.  His lust tool is standing tall and ready to go. He gets up to kiss her. She kisses him with her tongue. Then she tells him to lay upon her bed of lust!

Star Freak: Lay on my lust bed! There is no time to waste.

Greg: I like the way you think! Give me some sugar now!! Take off your black leather whatever you call it. That doesn’t turn me on!

Star Freak: I don’t care what turns you on! This isn’t about you!

Greg: It is too about about me, and I want some action! Please I beg of your mistress give me some hardcore loving.

Star Freak: There will be no hardcore loving tonight Greg, because I have a surprise for you.

Greg: I love surprises when they are for me. It is all about me.

Star Freak: Yes, well this surprise is something that you will remember for a long time. I am not sure if you will like it or not!

Greg: Try me and see, I will tell you if I like it!

Star Freak: You have to beg for it! You have to beg hard for it!

Greg: Please don’t make me beg. Please Mistress! Please, I want it! Look at the tear that I cry. They are for you my love.

Star Freak:  Don’t you call me mistress call me: Fart Dominatrix you bastard. I am not your love.

Greg: Fart Dominatrix…that is just fucking rude. I mean, I give you the time of day, and I offer you my lust pole and you call yourself Fart Dominatrix.  You aren’t like those farting college women are you?

Star Freak: Oh, you know them!

Greg: No…but you are scaring me!

Star Freak: Silence I have heard enough of your shit. I have a surprise for you that you won’t forget.

Fart Dominatrix takes off her panties and tosses them in the corner of the room. Greg is freaked out by her beauty. He is in a trance!

Greg: You are so beautiful come here and let me drink of you!

Star Freak: Let me ask you something Greg before we go any further.

Greg: Get on with it, I want some action you skank.

Star Freak: Do you like farts Greg?!

Greg: I let one go every now and then, but I am sophisticated and refined, so I don’t fart now. I am too good for that. 

Star Freak: I love them Greg! I love them so, and I want to fart on you! Please, I must release the gas inside. I am feeling all emotional Greg!

Greg:  You are like those farting college women.

Star Freak: Yes, I am afraid so Greg!

Star Freak puts her bare ass above Greg’s face and lets the gas go!

Star Freak:Yes, it feels so good! I am going to cum! Oh, shit! (poooooooooooooooooooooo! OOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSASdsbpppppppppp) I AM CUMMING!

Greg: My face it is burning! My eyes! My mouth! My beautiful face! My sexy hair! My face job is melting! I am melting! (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)!

Star Freak: Oh, it feels so good to be me! (he, he, he, ha, ha, ha, ha)! That was an awsome!

Greg gets up and runs out of the room! He runs through the bar and everyone sees his little package, and he is never seen at that bar again!

FIN!

A poem of seduction from a fart dominatrix…

WARNING: ADULT MATERIAL. ADULT CONTENT. MATURE CONTENT! 

He tells her that he loves her.
He tells her that he cares.
He tells her what she wants to hear, so she better beware.

She takes him to bed.
She pulls the covers back.
They lay in the bed together on their backs.

She seduces him with her body.
She seduces him with her smile.
She puts on her fishnet stalkings, and struts around for awhile.

She has gas building in her ass.
She has to let it out.
She tells him to lay down, and not to pout.

She tells him that she is going to fart in his face.
He says he wants to smell the sweetness of her farts loving ways.
He tells her that she has class.

He begs her to let it out.
He begs her even more.
He begins to cry.

He has big tears falling from his eyes.
His tears fall like droplets of rain.
He wants her to fart right now, he begs and pleads….he wants her fart now!!!

She puts on her latex suit.
He puts his on too.
He walks around in it, hoping she will fart soon.

His latex suit is orange.
Her latex suit is red.
He can’t wait until she breaks wind on his feet and head.

He begs until she is ready.
She bends over and farts in his face.
Pooooooo! Pooooo! Poooooo!

He smiles and cries because of the beauty she let out into this world with pride.

FIN!

He farted at a rich freak party…and had the last laugh!

Warning: Adult Satire. Adult situations.  

There was once a man who went to a party full of rich freaks, because one of his friends invited him. He didn’t fit in, and no one gave him the time of day. Because, in the rich freak world it is all about them, their politics, social clicks, and the material things that feed their ego.  

He walked over to the finger food table to get a snack before dinner, and some old rich freak asked him what he was doing there. He said that a friend had asked him to the party. The rich freak told him to get the hell out, because he didn’t belong there and wasn’t invited. The man wasn’t hurt or disappointed because the people at the party were a bunch of shallow, fake, selfish assholes. He was glad to leave.

His friend hadn’t even showed up anyway. He was about to walk out the front door of the party when his friend arrived. He told his friend what had happened, and she told him to stay. Well, they were just about to have dinner, and he was hungry so he said he would stay for dinner. His friend was delighted, and apologized for the old rich freaks behavior.  Him and his Friend found their place at the table. They just happened to be sitting by the man that just told him a few minutes ago to get out.

The old rich freak man hissed at him and told him that he was going to call security if he didn’t get out. Well, this time the “man that didn’t belongs” friend was there, and told the old rich freak that he was with her. Well, the rich freak old man apologized, because the man’s friend was one of his biggest clients.

You see when money is involved people start getting nicer. It brings out the ass-kisser in every asshole. They ate dinner and the whole time during dinner the old man, and his wife made jokes about the man that didn’t “belong”—they talked about people like him not having health insurance, and about them having to support the lower and middle classes. The man knew this but kept his mouth shut. He knew that he would have the last laugh.

The old man’s wife and the old man had face work, botox and other age related cosmetic surgery enhancements.  You see they wanted to stay young and be the fake “pseudo perfect” assholes that they had always been. They continued their jokes for most of the evening.

The man decided it was time for them to get what was coming to them. The man was tired of everyone at the table laughing at him, his friend told him to not listen to them. He felt some gas building in his ass. He knew if he let it build, he could blame the old man when the built up fart expelled with great magnitude from his ass. He would have the last laugh.

The man let the fart go. It was quiet…so silent (shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)! The fart stunk up the room. The old rich freak man soon began to comment about it. The man know it was time for the old man to take the blame for the fart that he had just released into the world. The man had always believed in taking responsibility for his own actions, but this time the old rich freak would take the fall. The man told everyone that the old rich freak and his wife broke wind.

The old rich freak and his wife assured people that their crap didn’t stink. His wife went as far to say that evening that she didn’t break wind and either did her husband. Well, everyone’s eyes begin watering at the table, and a couple of people gagged and barfed up their dinner. Others ran for the nearest exit. The old man and woman ran as well. Even the man’s friend she ran for the door.

The man finished his dinner and then left. A couple of days later a magazine did an article on the farting incident. The old man begin to lose business, and lost all his accounts and business contacts. He and his wife had no money coming in and they lost all their cars and houses, and soon were penniless. They in the end had nothing.

They then knew what it was like to be poor, and lived unhappily ever after. The moral of this story don’t fuck with the middle class.

FIN

The Farting College women: The Adventure at the Lust package Part 2

Warning: adult Content! Adult Material. Adult Theme. Adult Language.

Note: all names are fictional. It is a story!

In our last episode Beth lost her farting powers. She was just about to fart on Mark GreenBill to save her friend Sandy from his horrible seduction of sickness. But, just as she had her ass in his face she couldn’t fart. Will she get her Fart powers back? Find out in this episode…ladies and gentlemen!

Mandy: What did you do to her…Mark GreenBill? Why can’t she fart?!

Mark GreenBill: I had my henchmen spike her drink with gas be gone, and now she will never fart ever again, and Sandy and I can live happily ever after (he, he, he, he, he, he…ha, ha, ha, ha)!

Sandy: Yes, my love we will move to an island paradise filled with love and passion.

Mandy: More like mosquitoes and malaria.

Sandy: Why do you have to ruin it for me…Mandy. We are going to live in paradise just Mark and me.

Mark GreenBill: Yeah, and Sandy will wear flowers and beads, and we can run around naked all day long in the hot, hot, sun! 

Beth: Gas be gone…NO!

Mark GreenBill: Yes, I am afraid so Beth isn’t it nice. Your ass is now silent. There are no farts coming from it. You won’t be able to free Sandy from my control and power trips (ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha)!!!

Mandy: Not so fast Mark GreenBill, you forgot about me. I have gas it was that corn dog that I ate. It was the sauerkraut that I had for lunch…it was the corn on the cob I had for my afternoon snack. I am going to fart in your fucking smug ass face.  I might blow a piece of corn in your eye, so say goodbye to all this and hello to my fucking nasty ass fart!

Mark GreenBill: No, you can’t have gas…they put gas be gone in your fucking beer too. You can’t get gas.

Mandy: Mark, you are such an amateur. I like fruity drinks, beer tastes like horse piss…and looks like it too.

Sandy: Don’t bother my man…you tramp!

Mandy: How dare you call me a tramp…after all the we have been through.

Mark GreenBill: Yeah, tramp leave me alone. Sandy and I have bed surfing to do with our clothes off if you know what I mean.

Mandy: Yeah, I know what you mean you asshole. Beth, take Sandy with you, Mr. GreenBill and I have some things to talk about.

Beth: OK…I am out of here. I need to go eat some cabbage anyway…Sandy move your ass!

Sandy: No, you are a bitch and you are just jealous that I have a man and you don’t.

Beth: Don’t worry bitch…trust me I don’t envy you in any way! And besides I swing the “other way”!

Mark GreenBill: What do you mean…Beth. I am a stud…a catch of the year and your just jealous that Sandy has a dick…my dick. If you had my dick you would go back to loving men.

Mandy: You are such a dick Mark!

Beth: Fat chance…your dick is too small for the likes of me, and besides who needs a sperm chucker like you.

Mark GreenBill: I am not small. I have a big one. I have a big one. Sandy Beth is hurting my feelings. I am all emotional now!

Mandy: Yeah, Mark you are a dick!

Sandy: Shut the fuck up Mandy, and get the hell out of my life.

Mandy: What has he done to you…Sandy!

Mark GreenBill: I am such a catch…that is why she is the way that she is.

Mandy: You are a catch alright…you are going to catch a piece corn in your eye from my ass!

Mark GreenBill: I would like to see you try!

Beth picks up Sandy and puts her over her shoulder. Mark GreenBill makes a run for it. He is too much of an asshole to fight his own battles. Mandy Corners Mark in one corner of the fuzzy room with shag carpet.  

Sandy: Mark!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mark!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAA! 

Mark GreenBill: You can’t stop me! I am Mark…what are you doing?

Mandy: I am taking my dress off…Mark!

Mark GreenBill: You don’t have any panties on you are so hot! Oh, you have a nice body! Your tits are so real, but you need to shave your pussy! I am telling Sandy that she has to after we consummate our love for the first time.

Mandy: There will be no first time, and unfortunatly for you I have plans for you, and fortunately for me I am going to fart in your smug ass face.

Mark GreenBill: You wouldn’t dare…fart in my beautiful fucking face.

Mandy pushes Mark on to the shag carpet bed, and then she sits on his face!

Mark GreenBill: Your ass smells so good Mandy, it smells like rose garden surprise. Don’t you want to rethink this, I mean we could be lovers forever.

Mandy: No, Mark forever seems too long, and I have gas in my ass…and I am going to fart. My ass won’t smell like roses anymore it will smell like dog shit in the garden surprise. Oh, it is almost here, I can feel it coming from deep within, oh here it comes Mark. I am almost there…Mark.

Mandy’s Fart:Poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! POPOPOPOPOPOPOPO!

Mark GreenBill: It smells. I am…going…to (Barf) I have a piece of corn stuck in my mouth you, and in my nose! My face is burning! My Eyes! My Nose! What did you eat your freak.

Mandy: Goodbye…Mark! I hope that I have ruined your smug ass face, and reputation!

Mark GreenBill: I will get you Mandy, and the rest of the farting college women! After I have surgery to correct my contaminated face if it is the last thing that I do! I will get my revenge do you hear me farting college women!!!!!!!!!

Mandy: We will be waiting…you bastard!

Mandy walks out into the bar. Beth can’t get Sandy to stop crying! She is fighting Beth!

Mandy: what is wrong!

Beth: She is sick! She has second-hand asshole disease.

Mandy: I have never heard of that…come on Sandy come back to us!

Beth: Yes, it is the same thing as second hand smoke if you are around it too long you could get cancer. She was around an asshole for too long, and now all she will date is assholes…we have got to break the cycle. 

Mandy: What are we going to do?

Beth: I don’t know, but I have to think of something fast! Oh, I got my farting powers back.

Mandy: What did you do?

Beth: I ate a bunch of cabbage, and legumes. Tasted like crap, but I am ready to take on all assholes of this world!

Mandy: That is great…you should get a medal for that.

Beth: You are such a smart ass Mandy!

Mandy: Yes, isn’t it great!

Sandy: Mark where are you my love. My love! My love!!!

Beth: We have got to do something fast!

Will Sandy recover from asshole disease, or will she love assholes all her life. Find out in the next episode of The Farting College Women: The Adventure at the Lust package.

FIN: for now!